Monday, June 20, 2011

6.20.11 Bee-otch of the Day: National Cherry Festival





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Name: National Cherry Festival
Age: 86
Occupation: yearly festival about, well, cherries
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: giving the town some pretty shitty concerts

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Once again, for the umpteenth year in a row, I'll proudly avoid Traverse City for the July 4th weekend.

The National Cherry Festival is a yearly overrated festival where mostly out-of-towners enjoy the spirit of this small town of 14,000 by watching its parades, pillaging its shops, going on its carnival rides, and yes, eating cherries.

It's too bad its Open Space concert offerings are the worst I've ever seen.
This year, the Cherry Festival has four major concerts this year. The only one that I find only somewhat entertaining is the yearly 1964 The Tribute, featuring a bunch of guys who cover Beatles songs. However, the rest of the lineup blows chunks.

Two country acts, Brantley Gilbert and Josh Gracin will perform at the Cherry Fest, but only two rock acts will show up: .38 Special and Kansas.

Yes, apparently, the Cherry Festival thinks that rock music stopped existing after 1981 (OK, so .38 Special's biggest hit, "Second Chance" came in 1989). Then again, judging by their shitty concert schedule, they're alienating that nasty 'ol 18-34 crowd.

I always thought that the music stage at the Cherry Festival was free, but it's not. As a matter of fact, it's $25 to see both Kansas and .38 Special individually. What's funnier is that Gilbert is opening for .38 Special, further blurring the line between country and classic rock (and it's a line I don't necessarily like to see blurred, period).

Of course, there was a time when the Cherry Festival did decent rock concerts, and it was in the 1990's. Prior to around 1994, most bigger concerts in northern Michigan were held at Castle Farms in Charlevoix, about 45 miles north of Traverse City. The Castle had concerts from Metallica, Ozzy, Ted Nugent, Def Leppard and scores of others, and yes, some artists of other genres, too. However, its owner sold it to a 4H group in 1994, ending concerts up north for good. However, the 4H group defaulted on their payments, and the Castle was re-born... For one year in 1996. The owner died, and his family converted it to boat storage. Today, the Castle is still around, but as a place for weddings and other small-scale events.

So, the Cherry Festival decided to score a deal with the Northwestern Michigan Fairgrounds and brought decent concerts back to northern Michigan. For many rock fans, it was the only time Traverse City got concerts, period. Many rockers such as The Wallflowers, Collective Soul, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind and Motley Crue's Vince Neil came to town, attracting thousands. However, the loudness of the concerts and the occasional profanities pissed off maybe 20 folks living around the Fairgrounds, leading the Cherry Fest to budge in and abandon decent rock concerts for good. Instead, they ended up with Sheryl Crow and Don Henley, who (oops!) both canceled. The Cherry Festival ended up losing money trying to attract cleaner acts while abandoning the rock crowd. Until the Streeters Center opened in the early 2000's, rock fans in northern Michigan had to drive to Detroit or Grand Rapids just to see a good show.

Thankfully, Streeters has done a good job entertaining the hard rock and alternative crowd up north. However, big-scale performers have shunned northern Michigan due to a lack of a good place that can hold thousands of people.

But guess who's sponsoring Kansas and .38 Special? None other than good 'ol 97.5/98.9 KLT, a station that has done a wonderful job of ignoring rock fans under the age of 50. They think that since there's Real Rock 105.1/95.5, the young crowd is covered. Too bad that Real Rock is nothing more than WRIF North, trying to mix in a small selection of new rock, a somewhat healthy dose of 90's/00's (including songs that don't even remotely belong on a station calling themselves "Real Rock", like Finger Eleven's "One Thing" and Oasis's "Champagne Supernova") and sprinkles of 70's and 80's butt rock from Aerosmith and ZZ Top.

Point is, northern Michigan, I love you, but you're clueless when it comes to rock music. Hell, the Muskegon Summer Celebration's concert schedule's a TRILLION times better than yours!You have four rock stations, and none of them do a perfect job of entertaining a 30-year-old like me. Thankfully, I have both a satellite radio and a smartphone so I don't have to listen to four stations playing Blackfoot's "Train, Train" at the same time. It's one reason why I don't want to be remotely near downtown Traverse City during the Cherry Festival: so I can sit in a traffic jam filled with old people and white trash rednecks to see the drivel playing at the Open Space. Thanks, but I prefer the Traverse City Film Festival instead (and I've yet to do that).

At least the Film Festival always has what the Cherry Festival doesn't: something for everybody.

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