Wednesday, July 13, 2011

7.13.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Michele Bachmann


Name: Michele Bachmann
Age: 55
Occupation: Minnesota congresswoman
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: saying no to gays and porn
According to her Wikipedia article, Michele Bachmann was born into a Democratic family and raised to be one. However, she read Gore Vidal's book Burr in college and wasn't happy about how he was mocking our country's Founding Fathers. So, she stood up and said, "You know what? I don't think I'm a Democrat, I must be a Republican".
But, with the weird-ass policies she's standing up for, you know what? I'm not a Republican, I'm definitely a Democrat.
Last week, Bachmann proved how far right she is by signing a pledge that would support a constitutional amendment that would define marriage as between a man and a woman. But, the amendment also would ban pornography of all kinds.
The vow was made by a far-right-winged organization from Iowa called Family Leader, which claims that marriage in America is deteriorating due to the lack of morals this country has. They even claim that homosexuality is a choice and not genetic.
Now, wait a minute, porn banned in America? Wow. How anti-First Amendment of her. She claims that the pledge would "protect women and children from porn", it's still free speech, like it or not. Plus, good luck trying to find other politicians to sign the bill since they're already cheating on their wives.
Surprise! Enter Larry Flynt.
The legendary Hustler publisher has written an article for The Daily Beast (now a part of Newsweek Magazine) blasting Bachmann for caring more about taking our freedoms away than to preserve them. He says that she's more worried about what goes on in peoples' bedrooms instead of the real issues pressing society today. You guessed it: I agree with him 100%.
For decades, the religious right have been trying to take porn away not from the hands of children, but adults too. It explains why since the 1980's, they've targeted supermarkets and convenience stores like 7-Eleven to stop selling even not-so-explicit mags like Playboy. Thankfully, there still are a ton of stores that sell porno mags - mainly ones run by Arabs and Indians - but there's also the 'ol internet which has it for free.
It's also a reason why I do stand for gay rights. The wingnuts' main reason for gay-bashing is the verse in The Bible that states that God created man and women to be fruitful and multiply. OK, so I'm 30 and single with no kids. I like my single life although yes, I'd like to marry someday. However, maybe God himself hasn't found her yet, and never will. Does this mean that I'm going to Hell for not having kids? Maybe it's also worth noting that most women don't think much about me, period. I go to a bar and I'm ignored. Maybe that's God's plan: I should enjoy the single life and not have a woman fuck it all up.
And one of those women being Michele Bachmann.

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