Tuesday, July 19, 2011

7.19.11 Bee-otch of the Day: some idiot from Africa handing out books by Sun Myung Moon at Woodland Mall in Grand Rapids


Name: some African dude
Age: probably in his early 30's
Occupation: unknown
Last Seen: in front of Woodland Mall, Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: being a Moonie

On Sunday, I decided to beat the heat by heading to my local mall, Woodland in Grand Rapids.

There, I enjoyed a lemonade chiller from Dairy Queen and enjoyed giving my AC a rest at home. Walking out, the only thing I had in my hand was the cup 1/4 full of DQ goodness.

And before I hit the parking lot, I ended up with a big, 6X9 inch, 350-page book in my hands.

While walking out of the Sears entrance of the store, an African man approached me with the book. He basically told me that it was about God and finding Christ in your life. He also pointed to the page featuring his e-mail address and phone number if I wanted to talk to him.

Yeah, like I want to talk to a man who speaks little English and hard to understand. Sadly, Grand Rapids has too many of those as-is. But even worse, the book is none other than a pile of horseshit from that Korean guy who claims that he talked to Jesus at age 16.

Yep! It's As a Peace-Loving Global Citizen, the latest book by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon. Now 91 years old, he's still writing books, throwing mass weddings and yes, still the owner of the far-right-leaning Washington Times. He even mentioned the paper in the book, in which Reagan's Secretary of State Alexander Haig called "a balanced view of history that is neither right or left, and show us the way forward."

Now, I've peacemealed through some sections of this book, and it appears to be a book of peace and love. One part talks about how he predicted that in 1975 an interracial black man would be President of the United States, and he was right. It's too bad that his paper and his church all support Anti-Obama causes like Liberty University and even the George W. Bush Presidential Library.

You know, I don't care if you're religious or not, just keep it to yourself. Moonies and Jehovah's Witnesses are cultists alike and I fucking hate it when they jump in my face and sell their crap in my face. What's even worse is that Moon's book is free or else I would be selling it on Craig's List for $20 (hey, I need the money).

I know, this guy doesn't know any better. He's just another lost soul who was probably dragged into this nonsense by another Moonie and so forth. But, I know the truth. Jesus didn't even come to Sun Myung Moon. He's just telling this story to make a quick buck like his old butt buddies like Pat Robertson and every other idiot on TBN.

Oh, and this guy's email is Jngandu2000@yahoo.com and his phone number's 616.334.0042.     

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