Wednesday, September 21, 2011

9.21.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Mancow

Name: Erich Matthew Muller
Age: 45
Occupation: has-been Stern cloneLast Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: getting a huge downgrade

If Howard Stern is Mad Magazine, Mancow is Cracked.

In their 59 years in business, Mad has maintained many of their writers and artists, with people like Sergio Aragones, Paul Coker, Mort Drucker, Dick DeBartolo and Al Jaffee being there for at least 40 years. Cracked? Well, they had John Severin and that's it. Mad's still around in print form while Cracked became downgraded to web only after a series of bad business deals and lower circulation.

Howard still has listeners and still has Robin, Fred and Baba Booey. Mancow? Well, he can't keep a sidekick and more importantly, affiliates.

As many can recall, The Cow was let go from the now-defunct Q101 some years back due to poor ratings. He still continued with his still-syndicated Morning Madhousewhile doing a new midday show for WLS, but was let go from that, too.

But now, a radio station in the Chicago area has decided to pick up Mancow's morning show after several years of being in limbo in the Windy City. Is the station the station that replaced Q101, FM News 101.1? Nope. 97.9 The Loop? Uh-uh. The Drive? Still cold. WXRT? Keep guessin'.

Hint: it's not on FM.

And it's not on WSCR, WMVP, WLS, WGN, WIND or (especially) WVON, either.

The new home for Mancow in Chicago is (drumroll please).... WJJG.

I know your reaction: "HUH?"

Yep, starting on October 3rd, Mancow will now be heard on WJJG 1530 out of Elmhurst, a Chicago suburb. The station broadcasts out of an old apartment complex in Berkeley and is owned by an 80-something former car dealer, Joseph J. Gentile (hence the call sign). The station airs a brokered talk and adult standards format.

Recently, Gentile hired Matt DuBiel, who has worked in Chicago radio for years and recently purchased Q101's assets. As WJJG's GM, he's promising to transform the tiny station into a player in the market. So, he got Mancow not only for mornings, but a replay in the afternoon as well.

However, WJJG has absolutely no ratings, and it will stay that way.

You see, WJJG broadcasts with a whopping 760 watts and only covers a small chunk of Chicagoland. According to, the station's city-grade signal doesn't even reach Chicago proper. Even worse, the station is only on the air during the daytime, and during critical hours - two hours after sunrise and two hours before sunset - the station's signal fights with WCKY out of Cincinnati, which they have to protect due to their clear channel status.

What might be the funniest of all is that Mancow's show is syndicated live 5-8 a.m. Chicago time, and because they're a daytimer, WJJG will shift the show to 7-10 a.m. So in other words, The Cow won't be live in his own hometown.

But in the wonderful world known as radio, it sucks to be him. Howard kicked his ass left and right when he was on Q101 and the bruises are still there. He's not funny, he appeals to douchebags and most of all, he rips a lot of stuff off from Howard. Oh, and I love it that he bowed to the money-stealing bozos at TBN by making an appearance on their Praise the Lord program (fast forward to the 1:33 mark).

In the end, WJJG will get a 0.0 in the ratings and Mancow will still have egg on his face. I hope he's happy that he was on three stations in Michigan only to get canned and that the majority of his current affiliates are in small hick towns. Yeah, he's on Sunday nights at WABC in New York, but still...

In the end, he's still Howard Stern's bitch.

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