Tuesday, November 3, 2015

11.3.15 Bee-otch of the Day: MPAA

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



Name: Motion Picture Association of America
Age: 93
Occupation: those assholes who rate our movies
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: slamming Michael Moore's newest film with an R-rating

As fans of Moore's work, it is our policy that if we talk nice things about his competitors in Traverse City, Carmike Cinemas, we should do the same for him. After all, his Traverse City Film Festival owns two cinemas in the Cherry Capital. 
I've been to the State and it's beautiful.

Sadly, Moore is pissed over the fact that the Motion Picture Association of America has slapped his latest effort, "Where to Invade Next" with an R-rating for "violence, drug use and brief graphic nudity". Those prudes!
He took to Twitter yesterday claiming that the MPAA was wrong in its decision because much of the stuff that was R-worthy is stuff you already see on the news, including Eric Garner being choked to death by police for selling loose cigarettes on a New York sidewalk. The "drug use" was how Portugal was winning the war on drugs by not arresting people and the "graphic nudity" was two seconds footage of nekt Germans entering a spa.

"That's what the MPAA doesn't want teenagers 2 see w/o parental supervision. As always, teens: You know what 2 do, u know how 2 get in," said Moore on Twitter.

"Where to Invade Next" talks about how America would rather spend money promoting war and the military while other nations spend theirs on improving their people with free healthcare and legalized drugs. It is set to open December 23 against other big holiday flicks such as Quentin Tarantino's "The Hateful Eight", the remake of "Point Break", Will Smith's "Concussion", the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg comedy "Daddy's Home", "Joy" starring Jennifer Lawrence, another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's "Sisters" and oh yes, some sci-fi flick about Jedis and Wookies.

Mike, are you sure you want to release this film on December 23rd?

According to Moore, there's PG-13 movies that are nothing but "hundreds of characters are mowed down with guns or bombs". He's right! It's sad when the MPAA says it's OK for young kids to watch some guy's head get blown off, but when it comes to some German dude jump into a Jacuzzi, then it's a different story.

You know, it reminds me of a movie called "This Film is Not Yet Rated", which explains how fucked up the MPAA is. The film details that they've passed so many violent films for PG-13 ratings over the years, but if the film has "graphic nudity", aka vagina or penis, then it's prone for the dreaded NC-17 rating, which prevents it from being shown at many mainstream theatres. But in Moore's case, he will not re-edit "Where to Invade Next" because he's anti-censorship.

You know, it's sick knowing that in this great nation, it's easier for a dude like me to get a gun over getting pussy. When all these recent shootings happened, the government did nothing. But when Janet Jackson showed off her right boob during the Super Bowl, the FCC raised their fines. Here in Grand Rapids, a regular guy like me can no longer walk into a strip club since they've been banned for nearly a decade. Yet, this town is loaded with rape and murder.

IMHO, Playboy isn't getting rid of nudity from its magazine because of the internet, it's getting rid of it in hopes of being in more mainstream stores and boosting its sagging sales. Back in the 1980s, many family-based retailers dropped the magazine from its racks because of threats made by the religious right. You know, the same assholes who went to jail in the late 80s for tax issues and also support pro-gun politicians who think that the 2nd Amendment is more important than the 1st.

In the end, I hope "Where to Invade Next" will do well at the box office, even better than "Capitalism: A Love Story", which I felt was released at the wrong time. Nonetheless, I plan to see it when it comes out. If there's anybody who hits the nail right on the head, it's Michael Moore.

And no, I won't see it because of some German dude's weinerschnitzel. Now, Mike, there's some hot young female Germans, too, ya know....


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