Wednesday, November 4, 2015

11.4.15 Bee-otch of the Day: "Huge" Bill Simonson

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Name: "Huge" Bill Simonson
Age: 54
Occupation: sports talk schmuck
Last Seen: Ada, MI
Bee-otched For: rumored to be on the chopping block

I wouldn't want to be an employee of Cumulus Media right now.

Yesterday, the once-proud media giant's stock price sunk even lower to a paltry 47 cents per share. That's right! A McDonald's hamburger is now more expensive than Cumulus stock.

Even with a new company president replacing the incoherent Dickey brothers, there's a helluva lot that needs to be done to save the struggling media giant, such as why in the hell New York City has no new rock station but rather a shitty country station called "Nash" instead. Even here in Grand Rapids, Cumulus has proven that they haven't done a whole lot since they bought their cluster from Citadel a few years ago, save for making their country outlet a Nash affiliate.

Well, according to Jeff Moss, a light might be at the end of the tunnel.

According to his website, Moss claims that Cumulus is looking to push out sports talker "Huge" Bill Simonson from struggling WBBL 107.3 because of his and the station's sagging ratings. In the last Nielsen ratings book, The Ball was at a 1.4, good for 15th place. It is Grand Rapids' lowest-rated FM station, though it would have been nice if religious WFUR 102.9 - a one-time perennial ratings loser - still subscribed to Nielsen.

Moss' latest diatribe on FatBoy talks about how he screwed over Ryan Schuiling, who once hosted WBBL's morning show. Of course, Schuiling is now on Lansing's 92.1 The Team, hosting a similar show. He also touched on Simohog's past legal problems, such as the fact that he cost his station in Austin, TX half-a-mil over a slander suit. He also talked about the fact that he was busted for public drunkenness while he was in Tulsa. Yes, he even touched on his buttboy, Matt Hanlon's drunk driving arrest that ultimately killed his career.

The only thing saving the Huge Asshole right now is the fact that Sean Baligan is no longer hosting the afternoon show on WBBL's arch rival, ESPN 96.1, who along with their iHeartMedia sister stations took away the Tigers and Red Wings from Cumulus. Baligan is now co-hosting the midday show on struggling WMGC Detroit Sports 105.1; his ESPN 96.1 show was actually beamed from his home in metro Detroit to Grand Rapids. Right now, ESPN 96.1 is simply airing national programming from the sports network. Then again, ANYTHING is better than Huge, even John "The Hoss" Perry, who sounds like he talks with cottonballs in his mouth.

Even more, the schmuck was an asshole to his ex-wife, Melissa. according to court documents published on Moss' site, she claimed that Huge verbally abused her around her kids that he adopted and even stalked and sexually harassed her. Even more, he named his kids Ace, Legend and Ava. Frank Zappa he ain't.

I could go through the whole deets of Moss' diatribe of Huge, but let's face it: I think his days hosting his pathetic dog-and-pony show are coming to an end. The only thing saving WBBL are the Pistons and if they make it into the postseason, it'll be a miracle. Part of me wishes that KLQ would return with Howard Stern in the morning.... Now, that's an idea! With his contract with SiriusXM expiring soon, why can't Cumulus make a run for him? They have stations in New York and even... Grand Rapids! Put KLQ back on 94.5, move Nash to 107.3 and watch him kick Free Beer and Hot Wings' asses! It'll never happen, though.

But if Huge gets canned, it'll be a step in the right direction.

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