Thursday, January 12, 2017

1.12.17 Bee-otches of the Day: iHeartMedia and Cumulus

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Names: iHeartMedia and Cumulus Media
Ages: 45; 20
Occupation: radio braodcasters
Last Seen: San Antonio; Atlanta
Bee-otched For: firing good people and letting assholes stay

A week ago, the Fall 2016 radio ratings were released for Grand Rapids.

iHeartMedia country outlet B93 once again ruled with an 8.4, sister Nazi talker WOOD was 2nd place with a 6.5 while there was a tie at third place between Cumulus classic rocker WLAV and iHM CHR WSNX with a 6.3. WSNX's 6.3 is the best rating for the heritage top 40 station in a while and quite frankly, their jocks and staff should be congratulated for their efforts.

Instead, their morning guy is standing in an unemployment line.

Ken Evans had been the morning host with Lauren "Shmitty" Smith on SNX's morning show The Morning After. However, he was fired last week because effective on Tuesday, the station will be beaming in Mojo in the Morning from their sister station WKQI/Channel 9-5-5 in Detroit. Shmitty apparently is now handling late middays for now. It's not the only change SNX is making in regards to the Motor City; the station is now cyberjocking Channel's afternoon guy, Styles for nights. Already, WSNX's afternoon shift is handled by another Channel jock, Stick, who is also WSNX's programming director.

In all, the only live and local shift at WSNX will now be middays while the rest of the station is being farmed from Detroit with the exception of the syndicated programming the station airs (i.e. American Top 40Most Requested Live and the syndicated mix show from Grooves, a former mixer at WSNX). Thankfully, their Sunday night mix show Club 104-5 is safe, albeit for now (and why WSNX airs the show Sunday nights as opposed to Saturdays is a mystery).

While WSNX is celebrating their top three victory shaking their heads, another FM station in town is at the bottom of the barrel and some are wondering why the hell that station, WBBL still airs The Huge Show.

It's official: the Cumulus station registered a 1.3 in the ratings, making it the lowest-rated FM station in the Grand Rapids market. On the other hand, fellow iHM sports rival WMAX/ESPN 96.1 scored way better with a 2.5, lead by the afternoon show Gregg, Big Drew and Jim. The show also airs on sister WDFN 1130 in Detroit and reportedly has a plethora of calls from the Grand Rapids region. As a matter of fact, GBD&J reportedly have a three share while Simonson only has a two share.

You know, I think it's funny that the big fat moron lured Eric Zane from the unemployment line after being fired from Free Beer and Hot Wings and WGRD and now, he's pretty much Huge's bitch boy. To add insult to injury, GRD also lost some ratings, falling to fifth place this book. When the whole ordeal with Zane being canned last year was going down, I knew that there would not be a clear cut winner.

Look, both iHM and Cumulus are BILLIONS in debt and their shares suck (iHM closed at $1.15 today while Cumulus was $1.05 while SiriusXM was $4.58 and Pandora was a flat $12). Terrestrial radio is dying because they don't give a damn about what the listeners want. Instead, they fire good jocks and replace them with a dude who knows nothing about the area he's broadcasting to. Does Mojo know what two malls are across each other at 28th and East Beltline? Of course he doesn't. Does Stick know the name of Grand Rapids' hockey team? Of course he doesn't. Does Styles know the former US president that lived in Grand Rapids? You guessed it: of course he doesn't. But as long as iHM gets to save a quid or two on having real jocks in their studio, they don't care. Same with Cumulus, since Huge allegedly knows what Dick Devos' ass tastes like.

And why did Norway abandon FM broadcasts?


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