Monday, July 24, 2017

7.24.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Cumulus


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Cumulus Media
Age: 20
Occupation: radio giant
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA
Bee-otched For: accepting failure
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If you read the Spring 2017 Nielsen radio ratings for Grand Rapids which were released last week, the book had some interesting info.

As usual, B93 held the top spot while WOOD-AM/FM, WLAV, WSNX and WGRD rounded out the top five. Both WSNX and GRD rebounded, but it will be exciting to see how listeners react to the added classic rock on GRD next book.

But the shocker is the fact that good 'ol WBBL, 107.3 The Ball, just got smacked in the balls.

The Cumulus sports station is at its lowest rating since moving to 107.3 eight years ago, clocking in at a 1.0. When it was at 1340, ratings were considerably higher.

Speaking of 1340 - now talker WJRW - they are the lowest-rated subscribing radio station on the list with a .8.

Other Cumulus stations' ratings were a different story. WLAV is in 3rd place, making them the company's strongest station in Grand Rapids. Their other stations, however didn't fare very well. 105.3 Hot FM is very vanilla comparing to 4th place WSNX. That station is 8th place, though it did go up .5 in the ratings. Hot FM has never overtaken WSNX in the ratings, ever. Same with 94.5 since they flipped to country 13 years ago.

When Cumulus bought out the evil Citadel Broadcasting six years ago, we were all thankful. I was hoping for some awesome changes. But instead, it's a disaster, save for WLAV. B93 is killing 94.5, WSNX is killing Hot FM and most-importantly, ESPN 96.1 is killing WBBL, the home of the horribly irritating and intimidating "Huge" Bill Simonson. Although ESPN 96.1 has a meager 1.5, their afternoon show, Big Drew and Jim is a trillion times better than that bloated retard who reminds me of Ubantu from The Goode Family (remember that show? Mike Judge produced it) if he was smacked in the head at childbirth a few more times.

But in the case of Huge, he's a kissass to his sponsors, i.e. Amway, Celebration! Cinemas, Meijer and any west Michigan company with deep pockets. It's one probable reason why I avoid these companies as much as possible.

But this is Cumulus, a company that's billions in debt and is only trading at 42 cents per share. In New York, they buy out an underperforming religious station and while New York was lacking a rock station, they flip it to a format that's proven to be a dud: country. Since Nash FM was launched several years ago, that station has never been above a 2.5 share in the ratings. Today, it's at a 1.7 and in 19th place, getting its ass kicked by Spanish stations.

The point is, radio doesn't give a damn about its listeners, period. They allow failure. Bill Simonson hasn't been relevant in 15 years. And why is he still on the air? Who really knows. But there's many format options Cumulus can have for GR: urban, classic country (i.e. Nash Icon), alternative and others. Cumulus needs to be competitive or piss off.

And that's my huge opinion.

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