3.23.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 70
Occupation: slumlord
Last Seen: Mar-a-Lago
Bee-otched For: being very unpopular... even with fellow Republicans

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Last week, Drumpf was doing his Dana Carvey as George H. W. Bush impersonation, proclaiming "Obamacare... It's dead! It's dead!"

Well, I think the Affordable Care Act is getting a new life, after all.

House Republicans are now delaying the vote to repeal Obamacare until tomorrow, which should anger the de facto commander in chief. There's been a lot of scrutiny regarding the bill, which will take health care away from millions of Americans.

But of course, this is Drumpf we're talking about. A man whose approval ratings keep hitting new lows. This week, it was announced that he is sitting at 37%, one of the lowest in history for any new president. While some righties are crying that we oughta give the orange demon a chance, he's proven that a man who'd rather beef up the military over giving schools the funding they need for lunch programs and allow kids to watch Sesame Street doesn't deserve much respect.

Yes, Drumpf should be down in the doldrums because instead of caring about real Americans, he'd rather Tweet about how he's pissed that Snoop Dogg shot a clown version of him in a music video with a toy gun. Even worse, we have Fox News Channel kissing his ass all over by airing his pep rallies all held in red state towns in half-empty arenas. Sadly, he does nothing but repeat himself, telling the world that he's going to create jobs and pollute the earth doing so.

You know, I feel bad for anybody who voted for him, especially those in my family. The next four years will be tough. They all are claiming that the recent gains on Wall Street are all because of Drumpf, but when the tax cuts for the wealthy take place, WATCH OUT! Your 401 (K) will be as worthless as tits on a bull. The fact that many retailers like Sears, Macy's and JCPenney are all closing a ton of stores (Lakeview Square Mall in Battle Creek will be down to one anchor, Sears, and they just announced that they're damn close to closing all their stores) will not help the economy at all. And honestly, I don't think Drumpf cares. THOUSANDS of people will be jobless, and the right will cry that it's their fault that they didn't "finish high school" even though they have a degree, but can't find a real job.

The sad truth is, we elected somebody who doesn't care, period. We're wasting our tax dollars protecting his homes while he's out golfing, spending more time vacationing than Obama ever did. But don't look at me, I didn't vote for the guy. Neither did the nearly 66 million Americans who chose Hillary over the 63 million who voted for Drumpf.

But at least SNL has been on fire this year.

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3.22.17 Hero of the Day: Chuck Barris

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Chuck Barris
Age: was 87
Occupation: game show god
Last Seen: in the Great Beyond
Awarded For: making game shows even cooler

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Yesterday, we paid tribute to Chuck Berry, who in the 1950s helped to make rock 'n roll a part of our lives.

Now, we pay tribute to a similarly-named man, who was a rock star in his own right. Even though he wrote a hit record in the 1960s, he was a bigger star when it came to the world of game shows.

Charles Hirsch Barris was the son of a Jewish dentist in Philadelphia. He got into show business in the 1950s as a page for NBC and later, a standards and practices exec for ABC, overseeing American Bandstand. While making sure that AB didn't do anything inappropriate on TV, he wrote the song "Palisades Park" for Freddy "Boom Boom" Cannon, which went to #3 on the Billboard Pop Charts in 1962.

In 1965, he formed Chuck Barris Productions, and their first show was a smash: The Dating Game. A year later, The Newlywed Game was born and that show became a hit, too. The show was known for making the word "whoopie" an OK term for the oh-so-forbidden "sex" to say on TV. Barris even employed Bob Barker to host The Family Game in 1967, which flopped.

Barris' shows were huge hits well into the 1970s when in 1976, he somewhat reluctantly became the host of his own creation, The Gong Show. He might not have been the greatest game show host in history, but then again, he was so bad that he was good. Despite good ratings, Gong was a nightmare for NBC censors, especially when it came to profanities said by the panelists *COUGHJayeP.MorganCOUGH* and the infamous "Popsicle Twins" incident. Barris' other shows were also nightmares for the S&P people, especially the 1977 episode of The Newlywed Game where a woman admitted where she had the urge to make"whoopie".

Sadly, despite his shows' popularity, Barris got lots of flak from many groups over the content of his programs. Even Gene Autry - who owned the studio where his shows were taped - threatened to kick him and his shows out. Nonetheless, Barris was done. The Gong Show ended in 1980 and The Gong Show Movie released that year was a box office and critical flop. He shut down his company and moved to France. However, he came back in the 1980s and brought both Newlywed and Dating back on the air on syndication. He ended up selling his company and today, his shows are now owned by Sony, who launched Game Show Network in 1994. Barris' shows were now popular all over again, introduced to a whole new audience.

In 1984, Barris wrote "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind", his autobiography where he claimed that he was a CIA agent in the 1960s and murdered 33 people. The CIA has long claimed that Barris was never a part of their organization, though in 2002, it was turned into a hit movie directed by George Clooney. Barris wrote seven books in all, including 'Confessions'' 2004 sequel "Bad Grass Never Dies" and "Della: A Memoir of My Daughter" in 2010. 'Della' was about Barris' only child, who occasionally introduced her father on Gong. She died of a drug overdose in 1998 at the age of 36.

Barris had his struggles. But even though he might not have had the immense success of rivals like Mark Goodson or Merv Griffin, he created shows that definitely created a lot of attention. And yet, it was Goodson who kinda ripped him off with his celebrity relationship show Tattletales in the 1970s. But, if Goodson, Griffin and Barris were all put in a room together, Chuck would be the clown.

Chuck Barris: a man whose life was never deserving of many gongs.

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3.21.17 Hero of the Day: Chuck Berry

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Chuck Berry
Age: was 90
Occupation: rock 'n roller
Last Seen: in the Great Beyond
Awarded For: being the man who made rock 'n roll what it is

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July 9, 1955 will be a day that will live in the hearts and minds of rock music fans everywhere.

It was the day Bill Haley and His Comets went straight to #1 on the Billboard pop charts with a little song called "Rock Around the Clock". With its raw, young sound, teens everywhere went crazy over it. While some wished that it would die, rock 'n roll is still alive and well, almost 62 years later.

Haley would help to usher in new faces and voices in the world of music. Out were the vanilla sounds of Doris Day and Perry Como and in were the wild sounds of Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Buddy Holly and a young kid from Tupelo named Elvis.

And yes, there was a bluesman from St. Louis named Charles Edward Anderson Berry.

The fourth out of six kids, Berry was the son of a church deacon. However, he was somewhat of a devil, going to a reformatory during his teenage years after being charged with armed robbery. However, he became a fan of blues music and started performing with the Johnnie Johnson Trio in the 1950s. He visited Chicago where he met Leonard Chess from Chess Records, who liked what he heard from the then-29-year-old Berry. In 1955, his ode to a car, "Maybellene" hit #5 on the Billboard charts. Other big hits followed, such as "Roll Over Beethoven", "Rock and Roll Music", "Sweet Little Sixteen" and what some have called his signature, "Johnny B. Goode". Audiences dug his unique guitar playing style and yes, that infamous cock walk that banded blacks and whites together in a segregated society.

Berry's fame extended to the 1960s with his #10 hit "No Particular Place to Go" in 1964 and the fact that his music would inspire many of the rockers of the era: The Beatles (who covered several Berry tunes such as "Rock 'n Roll Music" and "Sweet Little Sixteen") and The Rolling Stones just to name a few. However for Berry, the hits dried up, though he was still a top concert draw.

However, in 1972, the floodgates opened for him at least once more, thanks to a song about masturbation.

Written by Dave Bartholomew - who is still alive and well at 98 years old - Berry performed his song "My Ding-a-Ling" at the Coventry Arts Festival in England in 1972. It was released as a single in the US, where it became Berry's first and only #1 hit. Although some radio stations banned the song because of its double entendres, it went gold and yes, it was even lampooned on The Simpsons.

Throughout the years, Berry still performed and recorded well into his 80s. He was even one of the first people inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Chuck left this earth on Saturday at the age of 90 from natural causes. Tributes poured in from fellow rock legends to new stars, rockers, country stars and you name it. After all, it was John Lennon who once said, "If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it 'Chuck Berry'."

Hail, hail rock 'n roll. Hail, hail Chuck Berry.
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3.20.17 Hero of the Day: Black Diamond Broadcasting

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Black Diamond Broadcasting
Age: 10
Occupation: radio station owner
Last Seen: Rochester Hills, MI
Awarded For: bringing real rock back to Traverse City

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So long, Michael Bolton.

Adios, post-Police Sting.

And don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, Celine Dion.

St. Paddy's Day was a lucky day for rock fans in Traverse City when hell froze over. After four, long miserable years as "Easy 95-5", 95.5 FM flipped back to active rock, simulcasting WGFM 105.1 Cheboygan as "Rock 105 and 95-5". The station, however didn't revert back to its old call letters, WJZJ but rather WGFE, allegedly standing for "WGFM Empire", the coastal Lake Michigan town where their transmitter stands.

For hard rock fans in the Cherry Capital region and all points south past Cadillac, this is good news, since 105.1's 43,000-watt signal from Vanderbilt peters out around downtown Traverse City. The other rock stations in the area - 97.5/98.9 WKLT, Q100.3 and sister station 98.1/97.7 The Bear - all air classic-intensive formats catered to older rock fans.

95.5's 21,000-watt signal covers a huge chunk of Lake Michigan, though on land, it can be easily heard from the Leelanau peninsula south to around Manistee.

Since signing on in 1997, 95.5 has spent 15 out of its 20 years on the air as some type of rock format. However, it started as a smooth jazz station, "Coast FM" owned by Del Reynolds. It simulcasted with 94.5 WLJZ Mackinaw City and 93.9 WAVC Mio. However, Reynolds sold his stations to Calibre Communications and later Northern Star Broadcasting in 1998. Due to poor ratings, Coast FM was shipwrecked and replaced with a pop-friendly modern rock format, The Zone. However, in 2000, The Zone dropped a lot of their female-friendly artists and started playing harder, edgier acts such as KoRn, White Zombie and Rage Against the Machine. The station's ratings skyrocketed, though regretfully, it was not a big money maker. As a matter of fact, 93.9 flipped to a simulcast of sister station Big Country 102.9.

Del Reynolds returned to his stations in 2006 as President and General Manager and one of the first things he did was gut The Zone. 94.5 switched to an ill-fated hot AC format called "Star 94.5" and 95.5 remained as The Zone, though morning host Cartman was left while the other jocks were fired or demoted. Outside of Cartman's morning show, The Zone was reduced to cyberjocks from the Waitt Radio Networks (now part of Westwood One).

In 2009, Westwood One discontinued their Alternative Now format and the decision was made to flip The Zone to a mainstream rock format along with 105.1. The new station was now known as "Real Rock 105 and 95-5". The new station was somewhat of a trainwreck, seguing newer bands like Godsmack and Buckcherry with older bands such as Heart and Bob Segar. Throughout the next few years, the stations sounded good sometimes, but other times, they played a lot of the same butt rock all the other area rock stations played to a crisp.

Sadly, the end came when Del Reynolds overtook Northern Star and on April Fool's Day 2013, 95.5 became WQEZ/Easy 95-5. Response to the new station was mostly mixed as new rock fans in Traverse City and southward were left homeless while 95.5 seemed to have few fans. On Facebook, Easy has 303 fans while Rock 105 has over 4,300 likes on Facebook.

However, when his wife and GM Mary suffered a stroke, Del decided to sell his stations to Detroit-area-based Black Diamond Broadcasting, headed by former WRIF Detroit salesman Mike Chires and partner Norm McKee. Given his relationship with the rock format, I knew that in the long run, Rock 105 would be safe, or maybe made even better.

And I was right.

Personally, I don't know why in the hell Del Reynolds wanted to kill rock on 95.5 in the first place and flip it to a lame-ass "super-soft AC" station that caters to old farts, preferably with lots of money. True, their stick is in an area where there's wealthy folks galore, but let's face it. When I was driving on US-131 around Cadillac last year, the internet on my phone croaked, leaving me without Pandora. I turned it on to regular radio and let's say that my finger got a workout from flipping around the boring, shitty-ass radio that area is known for. I was also in TC, and in front of their studios on Munson Ave., Rock 105's signal was weak.

I shake my head wondering why in the hell radio station owners up north want to do a soft AC format. 92.9 The Breeze: flop. 106.7 WSRT: so bad that their programming director filled fake Arbitron diaries to make the station look successful and was caught. Yes, Easy 95-5 had its fans, but it seemed to be very few and in-between.

Then again, bear in mind that the flip back to rock on 95.5 is probably in response to the fact that supposedly next month, KLT will be owned by Blarney Stone and they'll be expanding their playlist. TC now has an impressive amount of rockers: KLT, Q100, The Bear, Rock 105/95-5 and 106.3 The Mitten.

Since taking over the programming director position, Smitty has done a helluva job programming the station. In recent weeks, I've been hearing more new music on the station. I'd say that most of the new stuff the station plays is in the top 15 range. The only things the station needs to do is to 1) bring back Free Beer and Hot Wings (now on The Ticket stations in Cadillac and Petoskey) and 2) give Sam Lee a better air shift.

As for the old folks, yes, Easy 95-5 is gone, but they still have a few choices on the FM dial: every other station up north.

(And BTW, the Easy format is still on 106.3 in the Straits area.)
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3.8.17 Bee-otch of the Day: WOOD-TV

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: WOOD-TV
Age: 68
Occupation: NBC affiliate
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: allowing the veep to blow off the top story

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Today was a tough day for many in west Michigan.

Thousands are without power because of massive high winds hitting the area. The town of Woodland in Barry County was hit hard when the roof of an early childhood center was ripped off. Luckily, nobody was injured, though the school will be closed until the damage was assessed. In Clarksville, a century-old building also partially collapsed because of the 60 MPH winds.

But yet on tonight's 5 p.m. newscast on WOOD-TV 8, it wasn't the top story. Instead, they had political reporter Rick Albin talk to Hitler about how he'll get rid of the Jews, or at least have vice president wannabe Mike Pence tell the people of west Michigan how the Republicans will fuck up healthcare because in their mind, Obamacare has been a failure.

You know, I know that talking to somebody like the vice president is important, but dammit, WOOD-TV! Couldn't you wait until mid-newscast because people want to know what's going on out there!

IMHO, WOOD-TV is the lesser of all the news evils here in west Michigan. But it fucking sucks when they bow to the elitist assholes - like the Devos family - who could care less about the rest of us. I have to wonder if the Devoses were a huge factor in getting Pence on the air. Instead of doing what they think is a once-in-a-lifetime interview with a man they THINK is important, they need to get their heads out of their asses and cover what might be one of the most-damaging weather stories to hit west Michigan in years.

But since Repukes don't believe in climate change and science, well, there you go.
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3.7.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Matt Hanlon

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Matt Hanlon
Age: 53
Occupation: market manager, Entercom Radio
Last Seen: Charlotte, NC
Bee-otched For: hiring an old friend

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It was reported in November that good 'ol Matt Hanlon, the same asshole who fucked over KLQ here in Grand Rapids and us Stern fans became the market manager of a group of radio stations in Charlotte, NC. He now runs heritage talk station WBT, AC station 107.9 The Link and a sports outlet, 610 The Fan.

Well, now, it's been announced that the schmuck, whose radio career ended in GR five years ago when he was busted for drunk driving, is now making the same assholic mistakes he made at Citadel, a company he helped run into the ground. He just hired an old friend of his to run his stations as operations director.

Does the name "Darren Arriens" ring a bell?

Yep! The same mullet-headed prick whose lame programming skills helped make KLQ a has-been in the ratings is helping to run The Link, the home of The Bob and Sheri Show. On the other hand, The Link's old programming director, Darla Thomas is no longer at the station. Maybe she got tired of Hanlon's bullshit?

In a barf-worthy statement, Hanlon said, "We are focused on maximizing our impact across all of our stations, being the best local marketing solutions partner and continuing to deliver the outstanding content that our fans have come to expect from us. The move to establish a director of operations role underscores our commitment to being best-in-class. I am thrilled to welcome Darrin to the Entercom Charlotte family." Arriens stated, "I am thrilled to join Entercom Charlotte during this new and exciting time for local Charlotte radio. I am looking forward to joining the community and being a part of the great work that is happening across our stations."

With Hanlon and Arriens' hiring, I can't help to wonder if Entercom will end up just like Citadel. After all, they're in the process of buying CBS's radio division (just like Citadel did to ABC before getting merged into Cumulus) and Entercom just recently silenced a station in Sacramento that was the epicenter of the infamous "Hold Your Wee For A Wii" contest so they could go ahead with the CBS Radio merger. Right now, Entercom's stock has been sliding; it was down 38 cents to $14.75 a share today. IIRC, when Hanlon ran Citadel's Michigan stations, the stock went from $20 per share down to seven cents prior to the Cumulus merger.

But if there's anything positive about all this, it's the fact that all this is happening in Charlotte and not here. Better there than here.

Maybe he'll get Huge to move down there. Once again, better there than here.
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3.6.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 70
Occupation: old rich dude
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: proving that he doesn't belong in the White House

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Instead of solving the world's problems, Drumpf is giving the writers of SNL ideas left and right.

Last week, the de facto president told the press that former President Obama had wiretapped Trump Tower. However, Drumpf has no evidence this happened. This coming from the man that claimed that most of Hillary Clinton's voters were all illegal immigrants. Apparently, right-winged radio jerkoff Mark Levin started the rumor and Breitbart blew it into proportion.

When I heard this news, I shook my head. But then again, he's a Republican. If there's anything that Repukes are known for, it's for having the "if one type of person or thing is bad, they're all bad" mentality. Look at 9/11: they all thought that all Muslims are bad and they wanted all of them to get booted out of America. When I lived up north as a teen, all the older people hated the younger people. It was one reason why I moved to Grand Rapids 15 years ago.

The thing is, Drumpf is making up stuff simply because, well, he's an idiot and incompetent to run our country. What's sad is the fact that even though Hillary lead by three million votes, we got Drumpf instead. But don't look at me, I've never voted Republican in my life.

Instead of being in the White House, Drumpf needs to be in a mental hospital.
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