Monday, May 23, 2011

5.23.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Harold Camping

Name: Harold Camping
Age: 89
Occupation: Christian radio broadcaster
Last Seen: Alameda, CA
Bee-otched For: being another crazy old Jebus freak

May 21, 2011 came and went.

On that day, I went out and got a burrito from Moe's Southwestern Grill near I-96 and 28th St. here in Grand Rapids. After that, I went food shopping, came home, cleaned the limestone from my humidifier, cleaned out my fish tank, did laundry, cooked a steak and headed downtown to check out its newest dive, The Pyramid Scheme. After that, I hung outside with the smokers at J. Gardella's, which was easily the hippest spot downtown inside and outside.

Oh, and I didn't die.

On that day, nobody disappeared off the face of the earth. There were no earthquakes, but a few tornadoes in the nation's heartland. Plus, as far as I know, there were no radio stations treating Slipknot's "Left Behind" like they did to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" on 9/11.
It wasn't the end of the world as we knew it, and we felt fine. However, it was Harold Camping and his followers that spent Sunday with egg all over their faces.

By now, we're familiar with Camping, the aging preacher who owns Family Radio, a network of several dozen radio stations - full and low-powered - and even a few TV stations. In 1994, Camping predicted that the world would end that September to no avail. He "rechecked his math" and then, he came up with May 21st, 2011.

Tragically, many took Camping too seriously, especially since the Mayan calendar ends in 2012. Some even blew their life savings on ads declaring that the world would end at 6 p.m. that day.

But, we're still here.

On Sunday, reporters went to Camping's home in Alameda, CA and nobody answered the door. Family Radio is still on the air, airing their usual programming, although their website is jammed up.

Ya know, folks, I hate to break it to you, but The Bible is just like every book written centuries ago: it has a lot of lost parts. I'll betcha the reason why they're lost is because of religious groups over time who all believe in one part of the Bible but not another. So, they were all destroyed, or maybe forgotten. Therefore, that Bible you have sitting on your coffee table only exists partially.

So, will the world end? Who knows! People have been predicting its end for centuries but to no avail. I think the real losers out there are those who believed in Camping and gave him their life savings to support his beliefs. Bear in mind that Family Radio is worth over $120 million and some of their stations are on commercial slots - like 94.7 in New York City - that can be sold for tens of millions of dollars.

But bear in mind that the world will indeed end... For 89-year-old Harold Camping.


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