Wednesday, May 4, 2011

5.4.11 Bee-otch of the Day: WWE

Name: WWE
Age: 59
Occupation: sports entertainment organization
Last Seen: Stamford, CT
Bee-otched For: dissing the president


If there's any sports organization that claims to love America, it's gotta be World Wrestling Entertain - um, the WWE.

After all, they have many salutes to the troops, they give out free tickets to military families and they do many tributes during patriotic holidays. But on this week's Monday Night Raw , with the death of Osama bin Laden, it was no exception.

During the show's beginning, they aired a segment showing pictures of the events of 9/11 with the planes exploding inside the World Trade Center and the aftermath. Then, for one minute, they showed the then-president Bush's speech that he made that evening. In the next portion of the segment, they showed portions of the controversial episode ofSmackdown that aired just two days after 9/11; it was controversial because it was the first public gathering of its kind after that disastrous day.

Naturally, they should have cut to the speech President Obama made on Sunday night, announcing that Osama was murdered. But the show had to start. Former WWE ring announcer Lillian Garcia came back to sing the National Anthem in front of a capacity crowd at the American Airlines Arena in Miami.

But, they DID show an announcement regarding Osama's demise... But it was from none other than the goodwill ambassador of the WWE, John Cena, who made the announcement just minutes after the end of the pay-per-view event Extreme Rules in front of that capacity crowd. Cena told everybody that the president had announced that we had caught and compromised to a permanent end to Osama bin Laden.

Wait a fuckin' minute here. Compromised to a permanent end? WTF? So I take it that you can't even say "killed" in the WWE? Personally, I'd rather hear "killed" over the confusing mumbo-jumbo that Cena spewed out. Plus, there was no real compromise regarding Osama's death. He killed 3,000 people on 9/11, so he must be killed too. Plus, he was unarmed in his little mansion, and there were several Navy Seals with machine guns that REALLY compromised his permanent end right there.

But, I remember something: the McMahons are *GASP!* REPUBLICANS! I'll betcha that now, they're the types of people who are telling the rest of the world that Osama was killed because of Bush policies and that the "Obama killed Osama" types are chugging down too much Kool-Aid. The truth is that Bush knew all along about bin Laden's strategies and that 9/11 was going to happen. But guess what? We went to Afghanistan and Iraq instead. We conquered the wrong guy, found no WMD and gas prices still went up past $4 per gallon. Oh! And over 4,000 people died in combat and many more ended up injured. Why? Because of Bush and his rich, white oil buddies.

But don't mind the McMahon family. After all, they wasted $50 million on Linda's ill-fated campaign for Connecticut senator. Sweeping Chris Benoit, Owen Hart and the brashness of the Attitude era under the rug with a retarded "Stand Up For WWE" campaign promoting family-friendly entertainment didn't help, either. The point is, I'll betcha that the McMahons hate Obama's guts, and they hate him more that now, he did something Bush couldn't.

It's no wonder why I'm starting to like TNA more. For one thing, at least their owner's a green energy company. 


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