Tuesday, February 12, 2013

2.12.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Saturday Night Live

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Saturday Night Live
Age: 38
Occupation: variety show
Last Seen: New York, NY
Bee-otched For: losing with Bieber
Dear Saturday Night Live,


Last Saturday, the iconic variety show not only had Justin Bieber as its guest musical act, but also its host as well.

Now, I didn't get a chance to see the whole show. Normally, I watch SNL - bad host or not - but after chugging down a Vern Ehlers (a concoction made from Vernor's Ginger Ale with a shot of Jameson Whiskey made famous at the Meanwhile Bar here in Grand Rapids), plus working over 50 hours last week, sleepytime was a smidgeon more important than watching somebody who'll probably become the next Leif Garrett sing and act his little Canadian heart out.

However, I was able to watch one sketch, and it was the last sketch of the night where Jay Pharoh reprised his role as the school principal who makes weird noises with the microphone. In the sketch, Biebs plays a teen who promotes abstinence, which he really promotes because he was raised by a single mother in poverty. The fact that there were screaming teenage girls in the audience made the show painfully unbearable.

Many reviewers of Bieber's performance called him dreadful. Many even boycotted the show last Saturday because of him being on. Some even took to the social medias and comments included "he was a lame host", "I didn't want to throw up for an hour and a half" and "glad I missed it".

I remember in the late 70's when disco was king, SNL HARDLY had disco acts. Christ, they were thisclose to even having the Sex Pistols perform! Now, they don't give two shits what their artists perform. Hell, remember the Lana Del Rey fiasco? Many called her the worst musical guest in show history. Then again, I prefer a woman who sings "my pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola" over some douchebag who looks and acts like a perceptual 12-year-old.

Thankfully, SNL will redeem itself next week with Oscar winner Christoph Waltz hosting and Alabama Shakes as the musical guest.

And it better. Bieber as host and musical guest brought in 4% fewer viewers than the week before when another douchebag, Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine and unknown rapper Kendrick Lamar hosted and musical guested respectively.

Normally, SNL is a decent show. Yeah, all their great female stars have all left to bigger and better things, but it still has potential. Throwing on Justin Bieber as host is the equal to creating a car accident. If the show's ratings were great, it'll be like being a witness to one. It's not nice, but it's tough to not watch.

Thankfully to me, a stiff drink named for a moderate Republican state representative and working my ass off prevented me from being a witness to one.

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