Monday, February 25, 2013

2.25.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Clear Channel

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: Clear Channel
Age: 41
Occupation: radio giant
Last Seen: San Antonio, TX
Bee-otched For: polishing a turd in Grand Rapids
The Fox has been put to rest.

After 13 years and unimpressive ratings, the Clear Channel-owned classic rock station was laid to rest Friday afternoon at noon. Its final tune was an edited version of "The Final Countdown" by Europe with liners stating that The Fox will die in X minutes. Other songs played before its demise included Greg Kihn Band's "The Breakup Song" and appropriately, REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It".

After the Europe tune ended, 101.3 The Fox gave way to.... Another classic rock station. It's now 101-3 The Brew. Same playlist, but different jocks. Its first song was "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. The station claims to play "the next generation of classic rock" and even jabs rival classic rocker 96.9 WLAV for being "old".

But yet, The Brew plays a lot of the same crap LAV plays, such as Journey, Styx and REO Speedwagon.

Part of the reason for the big change is because Grand Rapids is "Beer City USA". It's the home to a few craft breweries such as Founder's, Schmohz and a few others. It's even the home to a large Brew Festival, which was held last weekend. Come downtown, and you'll be greeted by bars that don't serve the usual Bud, Miller and Coors, but rather Founder's, Bell's and Short's.

I find it laughable that Grand Rapids is nicknamed "Beer City USA", yet it's northern Michigan that has more microbrews than that of west Michigan.

What's even more laughable is the fact that Clear Channel is capitalizing on the fact that Grand Rapids loves their micros, but their music screams white trash.

OK, so Puddin' is back as the morning man at The Brew, but that don't mean shit. In the end, WGRD will remain the top rocker of west Michigan, and they avoid meth-friendly rock. Yeah, I kinda cringe at the fact that they're called "Grand Rapids' Rock Alternative" and they're not alternative anymore! Hell, towards the end, Radio X 9-6-1 started to gain momentum but Cheap Channel killed it for Sports.

If CC had a brain, they should have made 101.3 alternative of some kind. I know that alternative has gotten very indie and folksy as of late, but I'd rather sit through Muse over having to sit through Foreigner's "Double Vision" for the 24,632nd time. Then again, they brought back shit rock to Detroit's 106.7 and even that station's bombing. Sorry, but when you're $20 billion in the hole, that's what you get: unoriginal ideas with a fresh coat of paint on it.

But why should I bitch? I have Sirius.

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