Tuesday, February 26, 2013

2.26.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Gabourey Sidibe

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Gabourey Sidibe
Age: 29
Occupation: occasional actress
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: proof that she's a one-hit-movie wonder
The Oscars came and went.

Argo won Best Picture while Life of Pi was the winner of the most statues. Despite some criticisms over some of his envelope-pushing jokes, Seth MacFarlane won over the crowd and sang about boobs. Songs were sang and Jennifer Lawrence tripped into our hearts.

But, one question came to my mind is this: Whatever happened to Gibby Sidibe?

You know, Precious?

I remember that fateful day in 2009 when I saw the preview for that movie at the theater, wondering if The Notorious B.I.G. came back to life with a wig on. In my life, it was the most-disgusting movie preview I've ever seen. It made me happy that I wasn't eating popcorn or drinking anything or else I would have puked all over the floor.

And come to think of I, I think I avoided Arby's for a long, long time, too.

Even though Gabby was nominated for an Oscar for her role, she lost to Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side. Many felt that Sidibe's performance was great, but there's one small problem: image.

You See, Gabby is a big, fat black woman. Name a lot of movies and TV shows that have fat black women. Thought so. Since Precious, Gabby's screen presence has been limited to a few small roles in films such as Tower Heist and Seven Psychopaths. She also hosted SNL (horribly since she was always out of breath) and even appeared in Foster the People's "Don't Cha Stop" video.

She's also a regular on the Showtime series The C Word, but who watches that?

Point is, Gabby Sidibe has proven that black women the size of a freight truck won't make it far in Hollywood. If The C Word gets canned, what will she do? Honestly, she needs to lose weight. A LOT OF IT. Nobody wants to spend $10 to go see a movie starring a morbidly obese black woman, and that's the truth! I know, there's the recent scandal between Rex Reed and Melissa McCarthy, but she's a different story. She's actually pretty funny and didn't have to have Oprah be her wing woman. Plus, she didn't have a career like MC Hammer: have their first major album sell 20 million copies and then end up with no fans at all.

Take it from me: I once weighed 240 lbs. at 5'6". But I started working out, working a physical job and eating healthier. I'm now down to 180. Plus, I see the doctor regularly. It doesn't hurt! I think if Gabby loses weight, she'll be more-accepted by Hollywood and her peers. As somebody who once dated a chubby girl, I'll never do it again.

But for now, I'm not really thinking Arby's.... 

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