Thursday, January 23, 2014

1.23.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Peyton Manning

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on




Name: Peyton Manning
Age: 37
Occupation: quarterback, Denver Broncos
Last Seen: Colorado
Bee-otched For: making me a Seahawks fan


A week from this Sunday is a national holiday for most Americans (and a nightmare for pizzarias).

Yes, it's the day of the Super Bowl, a day of beer-drinking, nacho-eating and a day to see who will be the best football team of the year. This year, it's between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos at the frozen MetLife Stadium in New Jersey's Meadowlands.

Well, I've already chosen who should win the Super Bowl, and it's the Seahawks. Not because their QB, Russell Wilson only makes less than a million per year, it's not because I think defensive back Richard Sherman's outburst during last Sunday's NFC championship against 49er wide receiver Michael Crabtree was hilarious, but it's because of one thing:

Peyton Manning is an asshole.

Yes, I'll admit, I can't stand Peyton Manning. Why? Well, he's a Jebus freak, he's donated to the Republicans - including Dubya - and he's butt buddies with "Papa" John Schnatter, whose pizza chain happily cut workers' hours over Obamacare, even though the chain's in the black and he lives in a big-assed mansion in Kentucky.

Russell Wilson's a man of God, too, but in a good way. As a matter of fact, he's done a lot of charitable work while Manning's money towards Bush and other Republicans helped to kill and wound thousands in Iraq.

So, there. If the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, it will also show that Seattle can rise after they lost their Sonics to Oklahoma City (why?), plus it's a good gesture considering that it's the 20th anniversary of the passing of one of its finest musicians, Kurt Cobain.

Maybe when the Broncos lose, Manning will blow his brains out that it will splatter... in Omaha!


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