Thursday, February 27, 2014

2.27.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Mother Nature

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: Mother Nature
Age: thousands
Occupation: the woman who decides what weather will be
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: punishing us


There's an old saying here in Michigan: hate the weather? Wait five minutes.

Sadly, it's more like 16 weeks these days.

For the rest of this week, temperatures will be below normal. For this time, it should be 37 degrees for Grand Rapids and the snow should start to melt. However, it's supposed to be 11 today, 13 on Friday and 22 on Saturday. However, it dips back to 13 on Sunday, 19 on Monday and the late teens to early 20s the rest of the week.

The overnight lows will be worse. One degree overnight and -6 on Friday. However, it'll be -9 on Tuesday, -14 on Wednesday but it will be -4 on Thursday.

In other words, Brrrrrr.

I was watching a news report from Detroit's WDIV a few days ago and a man compared Winter to Justin Bieber: it was nice and adorable in the beginning, but it's turned into a little bitch that needs to go back to Canada. Sad, but true, I think we're tired of Winter and there's a little less than 25 days left of the season. I'll admit, I liked the warm-up on Saturday. I was so happy that I went to the mall and did some much-needed clothes shopping. But when it's cold, it's depressing. I just want to stay indoors and curl up on the couch.

I know, we've had mild Winters in years past, so this is bumper year. Also, I still believe in Global Warming, even if the weather is -14 degrees. But in all truthfulness, maybe it will be in the 30s and 40s all next Winter. Who knows?

All I can say is that Mother Nature is one bitch ass ho this year.


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