Monday, April 13, 2015

4.13.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Interlochen Center for the Arts

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: Interlochen Center for the Arts
Age: 87
Occupation: arts education center
Last Seen: near Traverse City
Bee-otched For: pretending that everybody in northern Michigan is over the age of 60
---It seems that when a concert venue in northern Michigan only gets artists that appeal to an older demographic, people complain.

I remember several years ago, the Cherry Festival brought in Styx and Foreigner as their big rock acts. Of course, leave it up to the Gen-Xers and Milennials to make fun of the yearly event by calling them a geezerfest. Since then, their yearly concerts have improved by bringing in several 90s acts such as Collective Soul and Blues Traveler last year and this year, Weird Al Yankovic and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Joan Jett.

But now in northern Michigan, shitty concerts have a new home: Interlochen.

The famed arts Academy announced last Friday their summer concert schedule, and it's loaded with moldy oldies. Amongst this year's artists include Michael McDonald, The Doobie Brothers (separately), Boz Scaggs, The Beach Boys, Harry Connick, Jr., Diana Krall, Vince Gill and the sole modern rock act coming this year, indie legends O.A.R.

Last year, the festival was way more exciting with Willie Nelson, EDM princess (and Interlochen alumnus) Betty Who, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Darius Rucker (Hootie), Jackson Browne, Gordon Lightfoot, Five For Fighting and Steely Dan. Why the geniuses at Interlochen invested in such a geezer-friendly schedule is beyond me.

The moron in charge of this year's underwhelming shitfest was Christopher Gruits, who told the website "there are a lot of artists here who resonate with baby boomers, but overall you're trying to strike a balance. Pink Martini, for instance, appeals to people in their 20s all the way through 50s or 60s. Last year we had Ray Lamontagne and Nickel Creek. Our mix is also reflective of who we are here; we see a lot of families and we have a big retirement community here."

Pink Martini? Huh? According to Wikipedia, they're a lounge music act. Personally, this 33-year-old's never heard of 'em.

I know, northern Michigan has always been a haven for retirees. But as a native of the north, it sickens me when people try to create businesses around them and they fail. Traverse City has three AC/easy listening stations (Lite 96.3, Easy 95-5/106-3 and 101.9 The Bay) and only Lite does well in the ratings. Old people simply don't like to spend their money, so why in the hell does Interlochen think that getting mostly geezers and has-beens to play at their festival works?

Don't look at me since I've never been to Interlochen, and as long as ticket sales stay low, they'll realize what a mistake they've made.


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