Monday, November 28, 2016

11.28.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 70
Occupation: spoiled little bitch
Last Seen: somewhere in seclusion
Bee-otched For: getting a spoiled Hollander to run our country's education system


This past Thanksgiving, I had a lot to be thankful for.

I was thankful for having friends who had me over at their place last Thursday. I was thankful for the eight years President Obama gave our country. I was thankful for finally having a job where my bosses realize my worth. I was thankful for the Lions having a good year and so on.

Of course, yes, I wasn't thankful that this year's presidential election didn't go as planned and the fact that I ended up with a cold on Turkey Day.

With Donald Trump now picking his cabinet picks, it was a shocker that he chose Betsy Devos as his Education Secretary. That's right! A woman who has no educational degree, has never taught a class in her life and has never allowed her kids to attend a public school. Devos is a believer in charter schools for the wealthy instead of fixing up schools that are crumbling down.

But like Trump, Betsy has never had to personally wipe her own ass ever. Her father was Edgar Prince, a billionaire industrialist who owned a successful car parts factory in Holland. As a matter of fact, Prince was a huge supporter of far-out right-wing causes like Focus on the Family and the American Decency Association, the organization that created the libelous "Howard Stern Information and Action Page" and paid people on fixed incomes to send hate letters via a template to advertisers.

Edgar Prince died in 1995 at 63, but his widow and Betsy's mom, Elsa survives. They're also the parents and sister of Blackwater exec Erik Prince, whom we all know is a spoiled little shit.

Therefore, our next Repuke president and the one beforehand used the services of the Prince family to fuck up the world and our country.

Of course, Betsy is married to Dick Devos, who also never worked a damn day in his life and has money in his pocket, thanks to daddy, who helped to create the little Ponzi scheme known as Amway. It's funny that the family, which also owns the NBA's Orlando Magic gave victims of the Pulse Nightclub shootings earlier this year $500,000 towards their recovery plus even putting up a banner at the aptly-named Amway Arena honoring those lost. Yet, they've given $2 million towards anti-gay causes, including banning gay marriage. When he was fighting to keep the Los Angeles Clippers basketball team, Donald Sterling - who eventually got banned from the NBA for his comments about African-Americans attending home games - reported to the league about the Devos's donations to anti-LGBTQ groups. Needless to say, the fact that they're now helping the Pulse victims is to help them stay on the NBA's good side, even if deep down inside, they want to kill themselves for pissing off their nearsighted view of Jesus.

However, there's hope, but it's dim. With Michigan officially announcing Monday that Trump had indeed won the state by only around 10,700 votes, Green Party candidate Jill Stein announced that she's paying to help recount the votes in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, three states that Trump won by a slim margin. But thanks to this country's flawed Electoral College system, I don't think miracles will happen.

You see, I'm scared. Trump told his minions that he'd send Hillary Clinton to jail and that he'd kill Obamacare. Now, he's recanting on both. The people that voted for him all think that he's going to wave a magic wand and Make American Great Again for the Christian White Male living far, far away from a person of color. Instead, we're going to see taxes get slashed for the wealthy, government regulations get cut for the environment which will mean more fracking (which equates to more earthquakes) and thanks to Secretary of Education Betsy Devos, our education system will get fucked. Hell, I grew up in northern Michigan and there was a school district that had a partially condemned high school for YEARS (OK, it was Manceltucky).

All I can say is just two more years and people will finally speak out. But first, the Democrats need to do what Trump and Devos can't do: wipe their own ass.

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