Thursday, December 15, 2016

12.15.16 Bee-otch of the Day: ABC Warehouse

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: ABC Warehouse
Age: 53
Occupation: electronics and appliance retailer
Last Seen: Pontiac, MI
Bee-otched For: proving that they're not a good place to buy a laptop


When I was a teen growing up in northern Michigan, we got an ABC Warehouse in Traverse City.

The cool thing about ABC was that they sold electronics for cheap and you can even haggle with the salespeople to get a lower price. My father bought a new car stereo for his 1974 Pontiac Firebird and a five-disc CD changer for the house, which was state of the art for its time some 20 years ago.

For years, I was quite satisfied with the 'House for my electronic goods. I've bought my TV there eight years ago and it still works like a charm. Same with my Blu-Ray player and my most-recent purchase there, a microwave.

Just don't rely on 'ol Gordy if you want a laptop.

Last year, my trusty Toshiba developed a sound card issue, so I took it to a tech who told me "yep, time for a new one". Either that, or listen to music and videos if it were sounded out by Jim Breuer's "Goat Boy" character on SNL. Since I got my taxes back, it was off to ABC Warehouse to see what deals they had (I bought my Toshiba from Radio Shack, which was becoming more useless than tits on a bull at that point). The guy there - who looked like he was in his 60s and didn't know a damn thing about laptops - showed me a brand I wasn't totally familiar with: ASUS. He was selling a unit that had 1TB HD space, 8GB memory and a decent sound system. It was a steal at $500 so I bought it.

It wasn't totally bad in the beginning, but I was really starting to hate it sooner or later. For one thing, its graphics card sucks. It doesn't allow me to watch videos that are supposed to be 60 fps or even videos that are supposed to be seen at 360 degrees (i.e. Foals' "Mountain at My Gates" video). The keyboard is a hunk of shit, too because some of the keys have to be hit HARD to register. So, I ended up buying an external keyboard.

But the worst thing about it is that out of the nearly two years I've owned it, I've been without it for a total of seven weeks. Not too long after I bought it, the power supply went out when I was plugging in my phone into the side. Thankfully, I had a warranty with ASUS, so I shipped it to them and they fixed it for free. However, it was out of my life for two weeks. Not too long afterward, I was plugging in my headphones and once again, the power supply croaked. I called ASUS again and they told me that this time, I had to pay to have it shipped since they claimed that I was at fault for installing a "foreign object". Assholes cost me $20.

Thankfully, I bought an extended warranty; when my factory warranty expired, I simply took my computer in to ABC and they would fix it themselves. This time around, I needed a new battery. Problem was, there's no easy way of getting to the battery on my ASUS, so I took it in. I was thinking that my laptop would be back within a day or so, right? WRONG. Turns out that they had to ship the damn thing to a repair shop in PONTIAC on one of their trucks. To make things worse, this was going on during Thanksgiving and Black Friday, so a day or two turned into three long-assed weeks.

True, ABC Warehouse didn't build my computer, but why in the fucking hell did it take them and their contractors THREE WEEKS to install a goddamned battery?!? Thankfully, the Toshiba behaved while the ASUS was in the shop, though the plug on it died and I had to rush to Best Buy to get a new one.

Oh, did I say *GASP* "BEST BUY"?!?

Yes, I have a plan. At tax time, when the external warranty on my ASUS expires, I plan to go to Best Buy to buy a new laptop. Nothing fancy (I'm not a gamer), just something to browse the internet, piss off the teaming millions with this blog and play laptop DJ with. While I was at BB a few weeks ago, I was eyeing a Lenovo (aka IBM) and remembered a friend of mine telling me that he loves his. Hmmm.....

Sorry, ABC. I'd rather deal with the Geek Squad over shipping my 'puter to Timbuktu. 


Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment