Tuesday, August 29, 2017

8.29.17 Bee-otch of the Day: Joel Osteen


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Joel Osteen
Age: 54
Occupation: goofy-ass preacher
Last Seen: Houston, TX
Bee-otched For: closing the doors... originally

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In the book of Matthew 11:28, it reads "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

But in Joel Osteen's world, it only matters when social media shows their angst against him and his fake ministry.

Yesterday, the televangelist apparently announced that he wouldn't allow his 17,000-seat Lakewood Church to be used for shelter for Hurricane Harvey victims. When the news broke, social media erupted with hate for Osteen, who claimed that his church - the former Summit Arena and Compaq Center - was partially flooded. Now, a day after the bottle of hatorade was opened, Lakewood did turn to Twitter to tell the people of Houston that anybody could indeed stay there and volunteers were needed.

Volunteers for a church whose pastor is worth $60 million and lives in a $10.5 million home.

I remembered when Katrina hit New Orleans, the weather-ravaged Superdome served as a shelter for thousands left stranded. However, the toilets overflowed and there was no running water. Maybe 'ol Joey just simply didn't want his luxurious megachurch to be overflowed with poop.

Ya know, this is why I love my church. I've been to churches big and small and this one - which has about 100 parishioners each Sunday - lends its summer school rooms to the homeless as part of the Interfaith Hospitality Network. We also donate food to the needy and we also aid those in Indian Reservations. Does Osteen do that? Not as far as I know.

As I mentioned, Osteen is stinkin' rich. My pastor - who is retiring next year - makes a more-modest $66,000 yearly, lives in a modest home and drives a Volkswagen. Our church makes about $260,000 yearly from donations. Also, we have an important stance on the environment and it shows by the solar power decals on the roof. True, we don't have shooting lasers and a pastor that wears a headset. We don't have teleprompters or a full house band playing soccer mom-friendly contemporary songs as worship music. Instead, my church does things the old fashioned way: an old lady organist playing hymns older than her and a pastor that reads off of a piece of paper at the lectern or in fact, he memorizes some of his sermons, too.

Last week, I mentioned that my aunt is battling brain cancer. Since she's only got two bedrooms, I told everybody on Facebook that even though I only have one bedroom myself, I am willing to allow folks to stay at my place on my air mattress if they want to see her. I could be living in a decent home by now if I wasn't screwed over by my ex-boss, who, like Joel Osteen is a Jesus freak who only cares about himself and not others. I didn't get a raise for ten years and thanks to rising prices, I got royally screwed over while he was going on huge vacations and buying $50,000 trucks.

The point is, not all Christians are bad people, but sadly, there's many who make people think that if one is bad, they're all bad. Maybe Harvey is a wake up call to people like Osteen that they better do what's right or else you'll be everybody's bitch.

And Osteen went the bitch route.



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