Wednesday, April 18, 2012

4.18.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Ted Nugent

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on

Name: Ted Nugent
Age: 63
Occupation: rocker-trurned asshole
Last Seen: Texas
Bee-otched For: being a jerk as usual


You know, many great things are associated with Michigan. This is the state that gave the world the automobile, furniture, cherries, Short's Beer and Madonna.

But sadly, Michigan does have a few bad things that have come from here, and Ted Nugent's one of them.

OK, so Uncle Ted's a great musician. Hell, I actually went to one of his concerts (for free, I might add). Thinking back, it was one of the worst shows I ever saw, especially when he lovingly dedicated the song "Kiss My Ass" to President Clinton. But since he loves his guns and his bows and arrows, he's for making sure that We the People still have a right to shoot at a kid in a hoodie armed with iced tea and Skittles.

In the video posted above, Teddy Bear is at an NRA convention, kissing Mitt Romney's ass and telling the world that Obama and his administration hates America and hates the Constitution and that we're going to be a suburb of Indonesia this time next year if Obama's reelected.

He also mentioned that Obama's head be cut off. Now, that's not nice.

Of course, Nuge isn't afraid to stand for right-winged politicians who are pro-gun since after all, like George Zimmerman, he probably yells "HE'S COMIN' RIGHT TOWARDS US!" before he shoots. Then again, he probably gets a chuckle knowing that Willard even forced the family dog to ride on top of his car on a family road trip.

But the question is, why does the right LOVE Ted? Aren't these people pro-family values? Bear in mind that this is the same Ted Nugent who wrote such songs as "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" and his signature "Cat Scratch Fever" whose third stanza begins with "I feel a pussy purr with a stroke of my hand". Mind you, these morons have been trying their damndest to shut down the adult entertainment industry for decades to no avail. Yes, they've taken away our strip clubs in Grand Rapids, but at least I can still jerk off to the internet.

If there's a big hypocrite out there, it's Ted Nugent. A man who sings the praises of family values and pussy all in one breath. I think that even under Obama, people like Ted will still have gun rights. True, if he wants to kill Bambi with an Uzi, he'll have to think again, but as long as he abides by the laws that keep us safe, both liberals and conservatives will be A-OK.

But maybe we should keep gun laws intact to fight the Jebus freaks that want to take my porn away.

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