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THE 2012 BEE-OTCH OF THE YEAR
Since 1999, we here at Chuck69.com have given the Bee-otch of the Year to a lot of idiots who, well, do stupid shit. We've given the honor (?) in years past to celebrities, world leaders and yes, George W. Bush for six years straight.
Now, who's going to be the 2012 Bee-otch of the Year? The nominees are....
JANUARY: Francesco Schettino
Of course, he was the idiot captain who decided to abandon his ship while hundreds of people were stranded on board while it was sinking. A dozen people died on board and he is now in prison for being one of the biggest pussies of 2012.
FEBRUARY: Omelette
He's the northern Michigan Howard Stern wannabe who made headlines for ripping off Stern's Wack Pack - ya know, the crew of people who are, um, special - by inducting a truly special member into the troupe: Tony Ciccone, the homeless brother of pop music legend Madonna. He had Tony and a bunch of Wack Pa- er, Misfits as they're called go to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl, and while Madonna was performing inside Lucas Oil Stadium, poor Tony was outside doing stupid stunts for Omelette's station, WKLT's ratings.
MARCH: Rush Limbaugh
El Rushbo shot himself in the foot big time when he called a female law student a "slut" when he testified for making religious institutions pay for birth control under the Affordable Health Care Act. The loveable pill-popper lost a lot of advertisers and even a couple of affiliates. Even some radio companies claimed that his rants caused them to lose a ton of money in the first quarter of the year. Waaaaaaaaah!
APRIL: Matt Hanlon
For many years, he was considered to be one of the most-controversial radio bosses in Grand Rapids. Matt Hanlon fired popular DJs, changed the formats of popular stations to ones that weren't popular and even angered many Howard Stern fans when he moved his show from 50KW WKLQ to puny 1KW WBBL - then on 1340 AM - in 2002 (wow, ten years already? Fuck...). But now, Hanlon's a has-been because earlier this year, he got drunk, got behind the wheel and almost killed an Indian couple. He did get off on lesser charges, but that's only because he had a good lawyer. Thankfully, he's still out of a job, and it might stay that way for a loooooong time...
MAY: Dominic Dieter
Dominic was part of the WMMS morning show in Cleveland who was fired for threatening to have sex with a lesbian teenage girl to "screw her straight". A caller to the show, Rover's Morning Glory complained about his daughter being gay when Dieter made that comment. Very low for a show that was once syndicated to former Stern affiliates, but canned doe to low ratings.
JUNE: NBC
2012 was a challenging year for the Peacock as its ratings were still low and the fact that their beloved Today show had its worst ratings in years. So, they canned Ann Curry, but personally, that's not the problem. I claimed that the show's problem was the fact that one of their reporters is none other than Dubya's daughter, Jenna. Hired because of your last name? Heard that excuse before...
JULY: Chick-fil-A
The southern fast food giant suffered tremendous consequences because of its anti-gay stances that it's had for years. Even company president Dan Cathy said in an interview that he's guilty because the company stands for traditional values and not those that he thinks destroys them, like the LGBT community. Nice, but when you put politics and faith over customers, well, I'll be eating more chickin... at KFC.
AUGUST: Dinesh D'Souza
This Indian immigrant made headlines last Summer with his controversial movie 2016: Obama's America where he claims that the President is channeling his late father to create an America that was similar to his Africa. True, he made this film based on so-called Christian values, but he did have a fling with Laura Ingraham....
SEPTEMBER: the students of Ogemaw Heights High School, West Branch, MI
These little bastards angered their community when they nominated an unpopular 16-year-old girl named Whitney Kropp to the Homecoming Court, but it was nothing more than a hoax. Thankfully, many in and around West Branch stood up against the bullies and gave this beautiful young girl everything she needed for that special night - a meal, a new hairdo, manicures, you name it - giving the bullies a bit of red in their faces.
OCTOBER: Willard Romney's supporters
Awwww... Did Obama's first four years make you cry? Sorry, but it sucks to be you. Obama won fair and square because he's not rich like Mitt, plus he's not hiding cash in the Cayman Islands. Sorry, but honesty prevails over evil.
NOVEMBER: Walmart
The nation's biggest seller of junk further shot itself in the foot this past holiday season when they decided to open their stores early for Black Friday after Thanksgiving this past year. However, the bullet got further into the bone when it was discovered that a lot of its Faded Glory clothes were made at a factory in Bangladesh that didn't have the greatest in safety standards and caught fire, trapping and killing over 110. It's further proof that even with each member of the Walton family being worth over $20 billion apiece, they put profits over the welfare of people.
DECEMBER: Clear Channel
Last, but not least, we nominate Clear Channel for laying off a crapload of jocks for the holiday season. Amongst the lost included former WGRD jock Dahmer (from 106.7 The D in Detroit) and Rich Michaels from WIOD in Miami, who ironically was fired by Matt Hanlon around Christmastime two years ago.
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Well, all five of you have been patient, and here it is: the biggest loser of 2012 is....
MATT HANLON!
Ten years ago when Bart Brandmiller stepped down from running Citadel's Grand Rapids cluster, the company made the terrible decision to hire somebody who didn't know radio too well, and that was Matt Hanlon.
Hanlon made mistakes at Citadel; LOTS of them. He promoted douchebag sports talker "Huge" Bill Simonson, he ruined and eventually destroyed WKLQ by firing jocks and demoting Howard Stern to his crappy AM station, he hired personalities that didn't mesh well with anything and so on, and so on. In the end, Citadel went bankrupt, almost all of his stations ended up also-rans and when Citadel was swallowed up by Cumulus, Hanlon was left without a job.
However, he did find refuge at crosstown rivals Townsquare (owners of WGRD, WFGR, WLHT and a few others), but thanks to his little accident, he lost that, too.
I think fans of radio in Grand Rapids can all agree; Hanlon should never, ever work at a radio station ever again. He's a man of too many bad decisions and his loss in the radio biz is everybody's gain.
Thanks everybody for a great 2012. We'll be back in 2013!
Hanlon made mistakes at Citadel; LOTS of them. He promoted douchebag sports talker "Huge" Bill Simonson, he ruined and eventually destroyed WKLQ by firing jocks and demoting Howard Stern to his crappy AM station, he hired personalities that didn't mesh well with anything and so on, and so on. In the end, Citadel went bankrupt, almost all of his stations ended up also-rans and when Citadel was swallowed up by Cumulus, Hanlon was left without a job.
However, he did find refuge at crosstown rivals Townsquare (owners of WGRD, WFGR, WLHT and a few others), but thanks to his little accident, he lost that, too.
I think fans of radio in Grand Rapids can all agree; Hanlon should never, ever work at a radio station ever again. He's a man of too many bad decisions and his loss in the radio biz is everybody's gain.
Thanks everybody for a great 2012. We'll be back in 2013!
Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
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