Wednesday, May 15, 2013

5.15.13 Hero of the Day: Angelina Jolie

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: Angelina Jolie
Age: 37
Occupation: actress
Last Seen: ??
Awarded For: choosing life over boobies 

Twenty years ago this year, the world said hello to Angelina Jolie's boobs for the very first time in a crappy straight-to-video flicker called Cyborg 2. She was only 18 when she first bared her knockers, and the world had begun a love affair with her and her naked body.

Over the years, Jolie had done many movies that co-starred her and her boobs: Taking LivesOriginal SinFoxfire and of course, Gia. Her sex appeal translated to millions of dollars at the box office. But despite her sex appeal, for the most part, making sure that she's around for years to come is the most-important.

Yesterday, Jolie made a serious revelation in an article in the New York Times that she had a double mastectomy a few months ago. Her doctor told her that she had a hereditary gene that increased her chances of having breast or ovarian cancer by 87%. If her breasts were removed, her chances of getting cancer would go down to just 5%. Jolie's mother, Marcheline Bertrand died at the age of 56 from ovarian cancer. Her grandmother - Bertrand's mother - died at 45 also from ovarian cancer.

Jolie has six children - three adopted and three natural - with long-time partner Brad Pitt.

Like most males, I like boobies. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Angelina has six kids and wants to be there for them for a long, long time. She's 37 and could get cancer at any time at her age. She's shown her boobs many times over the years on film and those movies will last years to come. They're on modern celluloid and not nitrate that will crumple to dust.

Yeah, her chances of doing more nude scenes will be limited (I don't think she's ever shown vag, but even that's questionable after having two kids), but she's done OK without taking her clothes off. As a matter of fact, her next movie, Maleficent is a Disney film scheduled to be released next Summer (for the record, her last film was 2011's Kung Fu Panda 2 and her last live-action film was 2010's The Tourist).

I know, yesterday I made an off-color joke on Facebook, stating something like "Angelina Jolie, thanks for the mammaries" and some of you thought it was tasteless. But that's what happens when you show off your naked body on the silver screen at least a dozen times. To some people, Angelina Jolie sans her famous boobs is like George Burns without Gracie or Simon without Garfunkel. But she's not the first celeb to have a mastectomy. Remember when Christina Applegate had her boobs removed? She had breast cancer and had the same gene that Angelina has.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that baring it all ain't everything. I'm sure Angelina will do well post-mastectomy without taking it off. We've (almost) seen it all. Being there for your family, however, is the most-important of all.

Cancer sucks. Good thing that Angelina has taken a huge step to stop it.

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment