Monday, June 17, 2013

6.17.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Chick-fil-A

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Name: Chick-fil-A
Age: 67
Occupation: fast food chain
Last Seen: College Park, GA
Bee-otched For: coming to Michigan

Here in Grand Rapids, we're in Fast Food Heaven.

Yeah, we have the traditional McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King and Subway, plus Taco Bell, Arby's, Long John Silver's and Quizno's. We also have some chains that aren't in all towns, like Sonic, Checker's (aka Rally's in some places), Culver's and Smashburger, plus a few fresh Mex places like Qdoba, Moe's and Chipotle.

Sadly, there's a few institutions missing from west Michigan, such as Jack in the Box and a chain I think a lot of folks would love to see here: White Castle. 
It's also worth noting that Grand Rapids lost their Dunkin' Donuts locations a few years ago when the local franchisee refused to pay his royalties. However, we still have Krispy Kreme.

Of the top 15 fast food chains in America, Grand Rapids is missing three of them. Dunkin Donuts and Jack in the Box are two examples. Now, another of those chains is coming to Grand Rapids sometime probably next year or in 2015.

Yep! It's Chick-fil-A.

A representative for the Georgian chicken sandwich place revealed that there's plans for them to invade Michigan within the next year or two, namely Grand Rapids. Currently, Chick-fil-A's sole Michigan location is at Oakland University in Rochester. The closest location to Grand Rapids is in Mishawaka, IN, just over the state border.

Chick-fil-A is famous for their ad campaigns, which feature cows holding signs that read "Eat Mor Chickin" in protest against the other fast food chains that serve burgers. However, the chain has been under fire for years because of the family that owns them, the Cathys. They are very notorious Southern Baptists who have used their chain to overly promote their religion by ordering all their restaurants to close on Sundays and even worse, supporting organizations that are against gay marriage. Because of this, Chick-fil-A has gotten lots of support from religious and conservative groups, but a lot of hatred from pro-gay organizations as well. Some groups even staged "gay kiss" days in front of Chick-fil-A locations.

There's no doubt that Chick-fil-A will do well in Grand Rapids, since there's still quite a few Dutch Reformists whose religion is quite in line with the Southern Baptists. Hell, there's a local restaurant chain here in town, Russ', that's also closed Sundays because of the owners' religious values. As mentioned here, last week, Russ' made headlines when they sent a memo to all their employees that they could no longer work over 25 hours because of "Obamacare".

Look, I respect God, but the last time I've heard, he never preached against homosexuality. It's sad when these backwards southerners have to peddle their shit to us smart-thinking northerners. I know, they'll have a customer base here, but I won't be one of them.

As a matter of fact, I'd rather go to the Popeye's on Division and Burton and risk being shot at than to go to Chick-fil-A.

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