Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded
Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is
awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.
DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE"
BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK!
-----------------
---
Name:
anonymous
Age: 26
Occupation: works at an insurance company
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: being a maneater
--
If there's one type of woman I will never, ever
understand, it's one who uses men.
And maybe that's one reason why I've decided to
not use this particular woman's name for this
article.
Here's the story: there's only two people on my
paternal side of my family who can keep on with
the family name: me and my cousin. However, my
cousin was an accident. In the late 80's, one of
my uncles was living with my grandparents near
Traverse City. Back then, he was one of those
guys who fucked anything that moved. He had a
fling with a young, 19-year-old girl and she
disappeared. About a year and a half later, she
unexpectedly came back with a surprise for him:
a six-month-old son.
Immediately, my grandparents looked at him and
adored him. They knew that he was one of our
family and would do anything for him. My uncle
finally found work in different areas, but did
provide his new son with lots of child support
over the years.
Growing up, my cousin was the only cousin who
lived close to me; the others lived in either
Grand Rapids or Detroit. It sucked because there
was a seven year age difference between us. When
I was a teen, he and his younger half sister
would come over to my grandparents' all the
time. I would be taking a nap and they would
constantly annoy me. A lot of the time, my
father would FORCE me to play with them. I was
never a little kid person, but since my cousin
and his sister were lacking father figures, I
had to be their surrogate play buddy.
Well, my grandparents moved when I was in my
late teens and I rarely saw my cousin since.
When my grandpa died in 2001, he and his mother
showed up for his burial and it was the last
time I saw him for years. I didn't see him again
until the late 2000's or so when I was up north
with another one of my cousins. We met at a
local burger stand for lunch and shot the shit.
At the time, he had a young girlfriend and it
appeared that they were serious in their dating.
But all good things don't last.
Several years ago, my uncle and his twin brother
purchased a big, three-story house near Flint.
The goal was to (finally) be closer to not just
family, but their own kids as well. Not long
after the house was purchased, my cousin had a
surprise announcement: he got married.
We were all thinking that his new bride was
already pregnant, but it turns out that the
reason for this marriage was because she was a
Canadian citizen and her visa was set to expire.
The two only dated for a few months and barely
even knew each other.
Well, this girl's backstory goes like this: she
was born to Indian parents in Trinidad and
Tobago. She and her mother fled to Canada as an
infant and she married a Japanese guy when she
was young. The two never got along. When she
graduated high school, she moved to Traverse
City where she attended Northwestern Michigan
College. There, she was "adopted" by an
overly-Christian family whose father and son
were both ministers. It was then that she
"accepted" Jesus into her life. Not long
afterward, she met my cousin online and the two
started dating. However, because 1) her visa was
expiring and 2) our family has had a history of
successful shotgun marriages, it was natural for
her and my cousin to marry.
Thing was, they officially married in a
courthouse, but they wanted a real wedding. So,
on a Fourth of July weekend bash at my uncles',
he introduced her to our family. We got along
just fine, and we're proud to have her as my new
cousin-in-law. I was making my plans to go up to
the wedding, which was being held at a park in
Bellaire.
Just days before the wedding, I picked up
another one of my cousins at the airport. I
asked him if he was going to the wedding, and he
told me that he wasn't and it was because my
cousin had turned into a dick. The story was
that not long after I went home the day before
the Fourth, my cousin and his bride went to the
movies and never came back to my uncles'. The
reason was because she had shot my cousin's
father a text stating how angry she was at them.
She was pissed that all of the guys were smoking
pot outside and that she "never saw a
connection" between her new husband and her
father. I wanted to not show up, either,
especially since my uncle wasn't going to be
there. I didn't even know if I was going to have
a hotel room, so I had to play things by ear.
I did go up to the wedding, and out of my side
of the family, guess who was there? Just me. It
was primarily my cousin's mom's side and his new
bride's side. Oddly enough, the bride's
biological family didn't show up, either because
they didn't want to make the trip from Canada.
Well, the wedding went on without a hitch, and
IT WAS THE WORST WEDDING I EVER ATTENDED. The
preacher's son officiated the ceremony, and was
telling the bride and groom to repeat after him:
"I, (insert name here), will always honor you,
won't cheat on you, will only think of you and
nobody else in a sexual way, blah, blah,
blah....." OY VEY. AND THERE WERE KIDS THERE!
Well, at least I got to stay at the Shanty Creek
Hotel, but sadly, I didn't do much. My cousin
told me that they wanted me over to swim and he
would call me. Never happened. Sad that here I
was, sleeping in this nice hotel, and all I did
was watch TV and eat at a crappy bar downtown
(and no, it wasn't Short's, which was closed at
the time).
Since the wedding, my uncle and my cousin barely
spoke. He only seemed to like his bridezilla and
that was it. That wedding was a waste of time
for me. All the ass-wiping I did for him and
this is how he repays us. Just because we smoked
pot. The good news was that the two - and his
wife - tried to reconcile. The bad news? It
didn't last.
My cousin and his wife seemed to have a perfect
life comparing to mine: he has a good job
working for an auto dealership in Traverse City,
she works for an insurance company and they just
purchased their first house in a small town
outside of TC.
A week ago Sunday, my grandmother's seven kids
all came to visit her. Many of my cousins showed
up, and he was supposed to be there too with his
wife. Well, that wasn't meant to be. My dad
joined his father for a smoke outside, and I
joined in (even though I don't smoke). My uncle
told my dad and I the unfortunate news. My
cousin just found out that his wife had been
cheating on him. MULTIPLE TIMES. My uncle
pleaded to him to divorce her. After all, it's
perfect grounds for divorce and he could keep
the house. Oh! Not to mention the fact that she
can't have kids because she had multiple
miscarriages.
Guess what he said? "We're getting counseling."
REALLY?!?! After all the buttwiping we did for
him growing up, this is what WE get? Sorry, but
my cousin needs to grow a pair. If I was married
and I found out that my wife was cheating,
she'll be gone. Bitch better provide me with
good spousal support. Sorry, but this CUNT is a
cancer to my family.
But to me, it could be good news as well. If he
stays married to her, that means that it'll be
up to me to keep the family name going. But
since I'm stuck in a town where most of the
girls seem to treat men like me like stalkers,
it might not ever happen. But, don't blame me
for not trying. Thanks, but I have morals, and I
now know that trouble's a-brewin' when the
wife's pastor talks about sex during the wedding
vows.
If I was my cousin, I'd be shipping her ass back
to Canada. Hey! At least the healthcare's
better.
---
Got
a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @
chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions
(except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on
http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com!
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of
Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern,
politics and more!
