Wednesday, August 7, 2013

8.7.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Parents Television Council

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Name: Parents Television Council
Age: 18
Occupation: right-winged nanny group
Last Seen: Alexandria, VA and Los Angeles, CA
Bee-otched For: being too scared to use their remotes

Fifteen years ago, Howard Stern thought that despite being the King of All Media, he could beat Saturday Night Live in the ratings.

With SNL's ratings hitting a snag, he launched The Howard Stern Radio Show, which was basically a repackaging of his popular show on the E! network. The show suffered from many things, including a lack of promotion, a lack of advertisers and worst of all, a grassroots campaign to take it off the air thanks to a little group called the Parents Television Council. After just two seasons on the air, HSRS was yanked off the air and SNL prevailed.

For years, SNL has been invincible, especially when Fox canned MadTV, an SNL ripoff that desecrated the name of the popular humor magazine it was named after. For the past few years, Fox's Saturday night offerings have been limited to repeats of The FollowingHell's Kitchen and the long-forgotten 30 Seconds to Fame.

But recently, the network decided that after several years of being NBC and SNL's bitch, they would once again beef up their Saturday night schedule. After all, there was a mass exodus of male cast members from SNL last season, and some are wondering if the show will be a success with a hugely new cast this season.

In Fox's case, they've launched ADHD, or Animation Domination Hi-Def.

ADHD comprises of short, quirky animation clips mixed in with two weekly 15-minute shows. One show, Axe Cop, is a show about a police officer that was the brainchild of a 5-year-old. But the other show on the ADHD block is High School USA, a show done in the style of Archie Comics about a group of high schoolers dealing with some very mature themes. The show was created by Dino Stamatopoulos, a legendary comedy writer and actor who used to write for David Letterman and created shows such as Morel Orel on Adult Swim, a former sister network to Fox.

Now that Fox has sold off their shares of Adult Swim to Time Warner, they're capitalizing on the network's success by using that same concept by programming the long-vacant Saturday night schedule last filled by Talk Show With Spike Ferenstein. So far, the block has garnered around two million viewers.

But now, the PTC is pissed at Fox for airing what they think is garbage. They're angry at the fact that High School USA has episodes about men taking pictures of their penises and even an instance where the word "shit" is unbleeped. On their website, they're urging their 12 followers to write a fake letter to hotel chain Extended Stay USA just because they advertised on the shows.

Oh please. You know, these people need to realize something: the shows air during a time when kids are supposed to be asleep! Why in the FUCKING HELL do they want us adults to have a few less options TV-wise on Saturday nights? With SNL supposedly starting to run out of steam this next year, it would be exciting to see the two duke it out. Yeah, SNL will win, but I predict that with the exceptions of Kate McKinnon, Taran Killam, Bobby Moynahan and the two black dudes, there's nothing to look forward to next season. (OK, Cecily Strong's a little hottie)

But that's the PTC 4 ya: a group of morons who think that judging what we watch on TV will guide them into Heaven, even though there's poor kids in Africa and people out on the street, begging for change. Oh, and I love their "celebrity panel", which includes Billy Ray Cyrus (whose daughter Miley is a grade A slut), Michael Medved and controversial Kansas governor Sam Brownback. Not to mention, a slew of Z-listers.

Hey, don't you guys have church tomorrow?

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