Thursday, August 29, 2013

8.29.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Michigan girls

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: various
Age: c. 18-34
Occupation: various
Last Seen: Michigan
Bee-otched For: being bitches


Michigan: where if you're a guy and you want to get laid, there's only two words 4 ya:


Yes, there you have it. This state has got to be the worst for picking up women, and many of them are prudes from hell, especially here in Grand Rapids.

Case in point: there's a girl at work who accused me of looking at her sexually yesterday. She got all pissed because she fucked up on something and told me "if I catch you staring at my ass or tits again, you're history".

Oh, and this bitch, 23, dresses up in tight shirts that have suggestive dialogue and doesn't wear a belt so her asscrack is exposed all the time.

OK, so you dress like a fucking whore, but gee whiz, you don't want people to look at you. Yeah, there's a term for bitches like that, and that's CUNT.

Oh, and one more thing: she's pregnant and she's not married. Classy.

You see, I'm 32 years old and I hate to say it, but the only girls that have seemed to ever give a rat's ass about me all were all strippers. I used to frequent the Deja Vu in Kalamazoo every month until my finances took a hit when I got into a car accident in 2010. Right now, the only girl who seems to be remotely nice to me is from Africa, and her English skills are horrid. She's attractive, yes, but would I marry her? No. 

I've tried it all. I've been to almost every bar in Grand Rapids, and the only people who talk to me were guys and older women. Don't even convince me to go to church, since virtually all of them here in Grand Rapids preach about giving them money and hating gays every Sunday. I am a Christian, but my Christ is the one who died on the cross, not the one who carrys an AK-47 while blasting abortionists. I do use online dating sites, but it's been almost a year since my last date.

I had many conversations with an uncle of mine about this subject, and it's true: getting good pussy in Michigan is beyond tough, and the reason isn't guys like us. The reason is because women here only care about themselves, plain and simple. It's one reason why he's moving soon; Michigan girls are nothing short of self-centered.

Even worse, it seems that once I see an attractive girl here, they're already taken. It bums me out when they get married, and it bums me out even worse when they have a kid. Kiss that attractive body goodbye. Now, you're saggy as hell, you're loaded with stretch marks and your pussy reeks of pure death.

I guess it's simple to say, maybe the single life is for the best. As much as I want her in my life to help bring new life to this Earth, it's best to say that women these days don't deserve a guy like me who opens doors for them, can cook good meals or even do chores for them. Yeah, I might skimper on a few things, but we're not perfect. Most young girls these days are skanks who rely on others for their happiness, at least financially. Sorry, but I can't do that.

But if you're interested, I'm all ears.

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment