Tuesday, March 11, 2014

3.11.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Walmart

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Walmart
Age: 52
Occupation: mega retailer
Last Seen: Bentonville, AR
Bee-otched For: causing a family to turn on, tune in and drop out
One of my favorite King of the Hill episodes was the one Hank joins a local food co-op because the meat at the local Mega-Lo Mart was horrible.

The meat was tasteless and the produce was the same. He tried to complain to the butcher, but a zit-faced employee told him that all the meat was butchered some place else. Then, he became one with the hippies and joined the co-op, where the meats and produce actually had taste. Of course, Hank had some ideas for the struggling co-op, but was then treated like the enemy because it started to make money and eventually, Mega-Lo Mart bought them out to basically turn them into a mini location.

For some people, they don't know what meat tastes like anymore because they're too fucking stupid to buy it at a reputable store. Instead, they buy it at Walmart, which claims that their meat is the best around. However, their stores don't have local butchers and it's all shipped in. And in the case of a family in Tampa, FL, they learned the hard way.

The family of four, which included Rosado Morales, a woman nine months pregnant sat down to eat what they thought was a nice bottom steak dinner when they started hallucinating. They were rushed to the hospital where she was forced to induce labor. Thankfully, her baby boy was born healthy and the rest of the family is doing OK.

The county examiner did find that the meat was contaminated with LSD. Now, the Walmart itself and its supplier, megafarm Cargill are being investigated. Walmart is complying with investigators by removing all its meat from their shelves at that store.

A lot of times, I cringe when I hear of a small town losing its sole grocer just because its residents would rather drive all the way to a big box store just for their low prices. However, people don't seem to care that Walmart doesn't have butchers in their stores and that their meat comes from a factory farm where cows are beaten and tortured. Personally, when I buy a steak, I want it to be locally grown. This is why even though I shop Aldi for most of my groceries, I don't trust their meat department. So, when I'm hankering for a steak, I go to Horrock's on 44th and Breton here in Grand Rapids, Gordy's IGA on Division or even Ken's Fruit Market on Eastern. These stores all seem to have reasonable prices for meat, and they all have live butchers in their stores.

What might be even more sad is that I was watching Masterchef on Fox last year, and the fat guy on the show was talking about how Walmart - the sponsor of the show - has "high standards" for their meat and that only one out of five steaks meet Walmart standards.

I guess the Walton family was hallucinating themselves when that statement was made.


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