Monday, December 1, 2014

12.1.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Walmart

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: Walmart
Age: 52
Occupation: retail Satan
Last Seen: Bentonville, AR
Bee-otched For: using Black Friday Thursday to turn America into 'Murica

Last Thursday should have been a day where people sat down and be thankful for everything they have in life. They should have been able to sit with loved ones and neighbors to enjoy turkey, potatoes, corn, stuffing, sweet potato pie and maybe some gizzard gravy and used that day to reflect on the good things in life.

But, nope! Thanksgiving is now fading into memory because of Walmart and other retailers trying to get what money is left in your bank account.

As usual, Black Friday (and need I say this? Black Thursday) managed to get throngs of people into big box stores and malls to get cheap shit into your homes. Even worse, it's now known that more people participated in Black Friday and Thursday than voted in the midterm elections last month. The videos online and during the evening news of people fighting to grab that $50 laptop is quickly turning into comedy gold for the Waltons and other greedy retailers who got to actually sit back and enjoy their holiday. Even worse, think about the poor souls who work there, making $8 per hour being forced to work there to make the pathetic soul of Sam Walton happy.

Even worse, some malls, like my childhood mall in Traverse City, the Grand Traverse Mall, penalized stores that didn't open on Thanksgiving. Even stores that shouldn't be open on Thanksgiving - like Regis Hair Salon - made less money on the holiday but had to stay open to avoid paying the penalty. 

Personally, I'm thankful I don't work at Walmart or any retailer for that matter. I actually got to enjoy Turkey Day with my aunt, her son and her neighbors. However, I did venture out on Black Friday, but only to do some shopping for myself. The only two stores I shopped at where Aldi and Walgreens. That was it. No malls, no Walmart, no Meijer. My family is easy to shop for: I usually burn one of my mom's old records onto CD for her, my aunt and cousin get a gift certificate and my Dad usually gets, well, nothing since he'd rather have me save my money.

But, if you're a parent who has kids and they need to have that new X-Box or sweet new smartphone, I feel your pain, especially if you're trying to make ends meet. Maybe if you voted Democrat this past election, this world could have been a better place for the middle class instead of the Waltons laughing at the blooper reels of people like you fighting in their stores over stuff they can't afford every other day of the year. This is why I use the website when I shop. Walgreens gives mostly to the Democrats while Aldi - a German company - seems to be not very political. The Repukes are doing their damnest to destroy Thanksgiving, and their scheme is working.

Somewhere, Jesus is weeping.


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