Thursday, January 21, 2016

1.21.16 Bee-och of the Day: Sarah Palin

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Name: Sarah Palin
Age: 51
Occupation: failed politician
Last Seen: Oklahoma
Bee-otched For: proving that she's fucking stupid

I have a prediction: a Democrat will win the 2016 election.

That, of course, is because Donald Trump has been given the kiss of death.

On Tuesday, the mega-billionaire was endorsed by former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin for his presidential run. She's joined Trump on his campaign for the presidency, and already, she's trashing Obama.

In a campaign stop in Oklahoma yesterday, Palin claimed that her son, Track (God, what a dumb name for a kid) contracted Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder while serving in Iraq. He was arrested this week for beating up his girlfriend and Palin claimed that Obama is at fault for the lack of care our soldiers have received after fighting Dubya's fake wars.

“I guess it’s kind of an elephant in the room, because my own family -- going through what we’re going through today,” said the former Wasilla, AK mayor. “My son, a combat vet, having served in a Stryker Brigade for you all, America in the war zone; but my son, like so many others, they came back a bit different.”

Ah, yes, good 'ol Sarah Palin, the woman who was the former mayor of the meth capital of America and only served two years as governor of Alaska simply because she sucked at it. Let's not forget that as governor, she outlawed sex ed in schools, replacing it with abstinence-only. Well, her plan didn't work because her bitch ass ho of a daughter, Bristol now has not one, but TWO kids outside of wedlock.

Now, she's blaming our PRESIDENT for her son's stupidity? Look, I feel bad for anybody with PTSD, but, listen very, very carefully... THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO HIT A WOMAN, PERIOD. I have zero sympathy for anybody who puts their hands on a woman. Chris Brown, Charlie Sheen, Mike Tyson and now, Track Palin. It's sad that here I am, with zero girlfriend and I've NEVER beaten up a woman and here's this douche, smacking around a poor woman while he was drunk. Gotta love modern life, I guess.

You know, I wonder when Sarah and her family will disappear from the face of the earth. A shitty mom with no priorities in life and kids who are total assholes. They need to go back to Alaska and do what they do best: smell moose farts.

Oh, and say hi to Russia for us!


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