Monday, January 4, 2016

1.4.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder

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Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 57
Occupation: failed CEO
Last Seen: Ann Arbor, MI
Bee-otched For: making me hold it in

Well, I have some good news and bad news. The good news was that during the holidays, I slept with some pussy one evening.

The bad news: the pussy I was referring to was my aunt's cat, and I'm, well, *kinda* allergic to cats.

I spent two days with my aunt and uncle for Christmas and they have two Golden Retrievers and three cats. One of the two dogs was very affectionate towards me, and so was one of the cats. Now normally, cats are pretty much the Antichrist, but this cat is either Satan himself or just a nice little cat who just doesn't know any better. As a matter of fact, he bit my uncle and he ended up in the hospital for four days with a high fever.

Well, on Friday night/Saturday morning after Christmas, I woke up at 6am to use the bathroom. I was sleeping in the basement, which meant walking my sorry ass upstairs and then walking all the way to the bathroom down the hall, I pissed and walked back to the basement, which was open air. Following me down was the little kitty cat, who managed to find my bed despite it being dark. He jumped on, purred like a mad little cat, rubbed his tail in my face, walked on me for about a minute and finally found a nice spot to lay down on my legs. I believed he was there for maybe 1/2 an hour until he finally realized that I really didn't want him there.

Needless to say, my sinuses didn't like me and when I was beginning my trip home Saturday morning, I stopped at the gas station and got some Gatorade. I figured that I would be fine by the time I got home. However, My bladder wasn't liking me at all.

Normally, I stop at the Portland Rest Area off of I-96 heading into Grand Rapids. However, I exited, got out of the car and the door was locked with a sign on the building that read "closed".  Yep! They didn't even put a "closed" sign on the exit, causing post-holiday motorists to pull over for no reason. The only good from all this was that Portland was just down the road; needless to say, the Speedway men's room was full. One guy even uttered, "that's our tax dollars in action".

Yep! For some unknown reason, the state of Michigan closed the Portland Rest Area DURING THE BUSY HOLIDAY WEEKEND. All I could say was that at least I wasn't chastised by the clerk at the Speedway for not buying something. Kinda reminded me years ago when I had to use a restroom at a store near Big Rapids because the rest area was closed and there was a sign that read something like "you should have used the rest area a few miles from here, this is for customers only".

You know, it's a shame that we already have some of the highest gas taxes in America and thanks to Snyder, it will go up in a few years with his claim that it will fix our roads. OK, how about fixing our rest areas, too, especially by keeping them open during important times like the holidays? I swear, if I can't use a rest area or use a store restroom, I might as well piss on the side of the road in protest.

But that's pRick Snyder 4 ya. An asshole governor who fucked up the city of Flint by changing their water system from Detroit's their their polluted system that has ended up poisoning the city. Yet, he blames the DEQ for the situation. HUH? Maybe he should take the blame since his fucking beancounters cared more about profits than people. But don't look at me, since I never voted for the fucker.

Maybe I should have slept with the other type of pussy instead.  

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