Wednesday, September 14, 2016

9.14.16 Bee-otch of the Day: The City of Grand Rapids

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Name: The City of Grand Rapids
Age: 190
Occupation: second-largest city in Michigan 
Last Seen: southwest Michigan
Bee-otched For: ten years of no booty


It was ten years ago on August 26th that many men's peni in Grand Rapids all fell to half-mast.

The City of Grand Rapids passed the idiotic resolution that banned nude dancing at the area's strip clubs. The law was the brainchild of Judy Rose, a long-time president of the Black Hills community group who raised $80,000 from an anonymous donor (*COUGHDEVOSCOUGH*) to have the city commission pass the law that forced the clubs to cover up. Under the law, strippers now had to strip only to G-strings and thongs and stay away from the customers. To bypass the law, the dancers stripped only to bikinis so they could perform lap dances, which are their big profit getters.

Since the law was passed, two clubs - Showgirl Galleria (which was the club that pissed Rose off since it was a hybrid club that had both nude and topless dancing) and Red Barn - have both closed while Sensations and Parkway Tropics have been demoted to bikini clubs. The nearest full-nude club to GR is Muskegon's Odyssey, 40 miles away. Another nude option, Kalamazoo's Deja Vu was forced to cover up five years ago because of a deal between the club and the city commission.

Of course, since the laws were passed, there have been multiple mass shootings, even here in west Michigan, especially in Kalamazoo. YET, NUDITY IS A PROBLEM?!?!

It's sad that we're a society - especially in America - where it's easier for some to buy a gun and open fire at a group of people then to look at a naked girl in the flesh. But that's what happens when your government is bought up by wealthy assholes like the Devoses. They've done a wonderful job of fucking up our city and turning our politicians into their puppets. Look at our cunt of a mayor Rosalynn Bliss. When the strip club vote was being discussed, my good pal Darren Gibson - now the Programming Director of WPRR/Public Reality Radio 1680/95.3 - was the manager of Parkway Tropics. He personally invited her to the club to prove that they were a safe and well-run operation. However, she refused and helped the city ban the strip clubs.

Ten years later, I guess what's left of Grand Rapids' strip clubs are doing what they can to bring customers in. I even hear that one club has nude VIP dances in hopes that an undercover officer doesn't slap a girl with a $500 fine. No thanks, I'm not going to risk going to a club and paying more just to see boobs when I can drive to Lansing and touch all the girls I want.

You see, this is a problem for Grand Rapids: the girls here are total BITCHES. I've had my issues with the girls here, but I also look at my cousin. He had problems getting a girl here, but then, he moved to the Detroit area and now, he's getting married! I always tell myself that it's not me, IT'S THEM. The fact that Grand Rapids no longer has any real strip joints proves how worthless this city has become for the single man.

As for Judy Rose, I Googled her name and I see that she's either A) dead, B) moved or C) fallen out of the public eye. It's sad that she did her damage when she did.

And because of that, we're the ones paying the price.


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