Tuesday, September 20, 2016

9.20.16 Bee-otches of the Day: the Devos family

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



Name: the Devos family
Ages: various
Occupation: west Michigan's 1%
Last Seen: Grand Rapids
Bee-otched For: getting ready to unleash their venom for the next few weeks


It's amazing that I've lived here in Grand Rapids for 14 years and I've spent more time at the Traverse City Film Festival than at FartPrize.

That's right! Tomorrow begins the 8th annual ArtPrize, which in my mind is one of the most grossly-overrated festivals in our state, maybe even more than my childhood festival, the Traverse City Cherry Festival.

Granted, I don't mind art. I don't even have a hatred towards the pieces at all. I think all the ArtPrize winning artists are very damn creative with their works. Sadly, however, let's remember who created ArtPrize in the first place: the Devos family, who give a small token of their wealth to the fine artists whose work is painstakingly labor of love.

Yes, the same family who pretty much runs the politics of Grand Rapids and the rest of the state. Hell, they're part of the reason why Flint's water supply is poisoned: the fact that governor Snyder banded together emergency managers to overhaul city governments like Flint's. Let's not forget that Dick Devos himself admitted that making Michigan a Right to Work state was his idea.

Oh, let's also not forget that the Devos family donated $500,000 to the victims of the Orlando shooting massacre AFTER they donated $2 million to keep gay marriage illegal (which was money not well spent). Personally, they did so as a goodwill for the NBA since they own the Magic and they didn't want to end up being the next Donald Sterling.

Now, for the next three weeks, ArtPrize will be everywhere like white on rice. Even WOOD-TV 8 will broadcast all their newscasts live from the event from temporary facilities at the Grand Rapids Art Museum. Tragically, they're the only decent newscast in this town and they LOVE to kiss the Devos's asses. Even more, they're adding a 7pm newscast which debuts tonight.

Unlike the CherryFest, ArtPrize is THREE GRUELING weeks long. Or in other words, a three-week advertisement for the Devos clan. I was chatting with a girl on Tinder who asked me if ever go to ArtPrize and I told her "HELL NO!" I told her that I don't support the Devoses, but she told me that they don't make any money off it. The point is, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!

I understand, there's a lot of Republicans who love Michael Moore for bringing tourist dollars to Traverse City because of the Film Festival. And here in GR, there's some liberals who love ArtPrize for putting our town and its creative people on the map. But there's a difference between Mike and the Devoses. You see, Michael Moore is a devout Catholic. Yet, he's pro-choice and disagrees with the church on their abortion policies. Yet, as he pointed out with his priests in "Capitalism: A Love Story", greed is a sin. Yet, there's the Devoses, who are this state's second-wealthiest family, who made their fortune on a barely legal pyramid scheme selling shit.

It's funny that the Devoses are anti-LGBT and yet one of their most-remembered ArtPrize pieces were a few paintings slapped with semen. As a dear friend of mine in the strip club business knows, the Devoses *PROBABLY* played a role in the idiotic ban on full nudity at the clubs since Judy Rose appeared in a Dick Devos campaign ad. So it's OK to go see a painting made with jizz but a woman can't open her legs in front of you... STUPID.

Oh, and this year, there's a painting made with... BLOOD! Maybe I oughta pee and poop on a canvas and call it "I Had To Go" for next year's competition.

It makes perfect sense since the Devoses are always full of shit.


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