Tuesday, October 25, 2016

10.25.16 Bee-otch of the Day: Jimmy John's

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Jimmy John's
Age: 33
Occupation: sandwich shop
Last Seen: Champaign, IL
Bee-otched For: getting a customer sick freaky fast

In the world of subs, there seems to be a Subway in every small town in America, even in towns that don't have a McDonald's.

There are those who love Jimmy John's a lot better, though, because they tend to have better ingredients. The one and only time I went to a Jimmy's, I had the shits afterward. I remember pooping out undigested lettuce.

But a woman here in Grand Rapids is now suing the chain for $75,000 because she got much worse than the runs.

Lindsay Bresnahan claims that she ordered the Billy Club unwich from the Alpine Ave. location. She specifically told them no Dijon mustard because she was allergic to it. Well, they slapped it on anyway and she ended up with watery eyes, coughing and her throat closing. She says in the federal lawsuit that because of the mishap, she can no longer talk above a whisper and is on disability from work. She claims that the restaurant neglected to train their employees in regards to dealing with food allergies.

But since the restaurant is owned by a fucking asshole named Jimmy John Liautaud, well, there you go.

JJ barely graduated high school, so his father told him to start a business and Jimmy John's was born. As Jimmy John's grew, so did his ego. He was a notorious big game hunter, though he claims that he no longer does. However, one of JJ's skeletons is the fact that their employees - even low-wage earners - are forced into non-compete agreements. So in other words, if the Subway across the street pays more, they cannot work there.

Even though JJ's claims that they've changed their rules, I personally won't eat at one. Besides, it was announced that Roark Capital, the right-winged assholes who own Arby's and Moe's Southwestern Grill just bought a majority stake in JJ's and is keeping Liautaud as Chairman of the Board.

So there you go. When you pay your employees shit wages, you get shitty sandwiches and $75,000 goes out the door.

Maybe JJ's oughta start giving out Epipens with their meals.


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