Tuesday, June 27, 2017

6.27.17 Hero of the Day: Justine Kish

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Justine Kish
Age: 29
Occupation: UFC fighter
Last Seen: ??
Awarded For: Kishing herself in the ring

Many years ago, I went to Spencer's Gifts in my local mall. There, I found a nice, yellow t-shirt with a 1950s style clip art of a woman with the caption "Girls Don't Poop".

Of course, I didn't buy the shirt, though it brought a small smile to my face.

For centuries, it seemed that girls and pooping were like mixing oil and water. Some girls claim that they don't poop or even fart ever. We've always associated women with beautiful aromas like expensive perfumes or pumpkin spice Yankee Candles. But sadly, women are just as human as us men and yes, they do poop. Hell, my ex-girlfriend would come over to my place and would poop with the door open. And yes, the scent was not all that pleasant.

But leave it to Russian UFC fighter Justine Kish to prove to the world that yes, women do poop, especially on national television in front of millions of people. On Saturday night, Kish was fighting in a strawweight championship match with Felice Herrig. Herrig held Kish in a rear naked chokehold when all the sudden, Kish tried to fight back by crapping her shorts. Her fecal stains were splattered on the floor of the ring for millions to see. And yes, that was poop. From a woman nonetheless.

Herrig won the match while poor Justine was left in the stink of defeat. But, Ms. Kish laughed it all off on Twitter. "I am a warrior, and I will never quit #ShitHappens haha be back soon," Ms. Kish stated.

Kish is not the first athlete to poop their shorts in a match. Early in his career, Stone Cold Steve Austin admitted that he crapped his shorts in a heavy wrestling match in Japan. Another MMA fighter, Thomas Wolford also made doody in his pants and his video now has over 13 million hits on YouTube. In the world of fighting, it might be best to poop before you fight, or at least wear Depends or Oops, I Crapped My Pants.

But ya gotta hand it to Justine Kish. Now that we know what her poop looks like, at least she still has some dignity. In her career, she's still 18-2 and still a tough competitor. Too bad she didn't sit on Herrig, or else she would have been 19-1.

Think of it: you can be #1 with your #2.


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