Tuesday, September 25, 2012

9.25.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Justin Timberlake

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Justin Timberlake
Age: 31
Occupation: shitty pop singer
Last Seen: who cares
Bee-otched For: trying to bring MySpace back

The man who knows what it's like to have his dick up Britney Spears' twat prior to her having two kids is polishing a turd.

Yesterday, former 'NSync singer Justin Timberlake released a video announcing the re-launch of MySpace, the once-popular social network site that everybody used prior to Facebook and Twitter.

Remember MySpace? It was founded almost 10 years ago by some doofus named Tom "not Beavis and Butt-head's elderly neighbor" Anderson that was pretty much the grandaddy of all social network sites. The individual sites were graphics-heavy and took forever to load. Even worse, you could hide under assumed names and bully the shit out of others.

Then came Facebook, and it proved to be a more stable and user-friendly service than that of MySpace, which Anderson sold to Rupert Murdoch's NewsCorp in 2005 for nearly $600 million. However, thanks to Facebook, NewsCorp found MySpace to be no longer profitable and sold it to an investment group headed by Timberlake last year for only $35 million.

In the mid-2000's, MySpace was in the top 10 of all websites on Earth. Now, it's #181.

Now, Timberlake is going to redesign the once-popular site, as seen on the video above (and for the record, it's only gotten 301 views on YouTube so far) to make it even more modern than Facebook. Apparently, they're trying to make it have some of the things you'd see on all the other social networks (ie Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter) and some of the stuff the old MySpace has always had (like playlists).

Look, I've always hated Justin Timberlake with a severe passion. I fucking hated the boy bands of the 1990's and still do. Yeah, he wasn't that bad in (ironically) The Social Network as Sean Fanning, but Jesus Mutherfuckin' H. Christ he sucks.

I had a MySpace site under Rupert Murdoch (and still do, but it's been a long ass time since I even checked it out), and I hate the guy. So, why should I have a site under Timberlake? I know, I'm on Facebook and Twitter a lot these days, but that's life. Facebook is still the #1 website on the plant even though their IPO was a disaster. But at least Mark Zuckerberg never sang shitty pop songs that had 30 writers for 12 lines, nor did he ever wiretap a phone.

Plus, at least as far as I know, nobody has created six fake Facebook sites blasting this site. :)

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