Thursday, June 12, 2014

6.12.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Walmart

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Name: Walmart
Age: 52
Occupation: Satan
Last Seen: Bentonville, AR
Bee-otched For: Almost killing Tracy Morgan

It's the news that caused sadness in the comedy world last weekend when one of SNL's funniest comics almost became the first regular from the series to die since featured player Tom Davis died two years ago and the first full-time player since Charles Rocket almost ten years ago.

Tracy Morgan was riding on a limo bus in New Jersey after a comedy gig when a tractor trailer struck them from behind, causing a chain reaction crash. Morgan was riding with three other comedians and a few of the limo companies staffers when the accident occurred. Morgan was airlifted to a hospital while fellow comic Jimmy Mack died in the accident.

As of this writing, Morgan is still in critical condition, but it has been upgraded to "but stable". He has a broken leg - that was supposed to be amputated but was saved - plus broken ribs and broken nose.

The driver of the truck, 35-year-old Kevin Roper of the Atlanta area apparently fell asleep in front of the wheel of his 18-wheeler. According to records, Roper was awake for 24 hours straight when the accident occurred.

After the accident, some are now questioning Walmart's standards regarding their drivers. Since Walmart is known for their low-wages and high turnover, some are translating that message to their truckers as well. Since many truckers are paid by mile, there might be a reason why Roper decided to stay up instead of pulling off the road for some shut-eye.

The good news is that Walmart has responded and will claim responsibility for the accident once the government does their investigation. Chances are that the government will charge Wally World a few million bucks, or in other words, a few coins in the fountain if you care about ratios.

If I were the government, I'd charge Walmart $20 billion for what they did. They deserve to be fined for not just killing a comedian, but also for their practices regarding worker treatment and so much more. Isn't there a law that truckers must get eight hours of rest per 12 hours or so? I think that's only fair.

But no, Walmart's gotta make their money, even if it almost kills Tracy Morgan.


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