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Name: WYPV Age: 3 Occupation: right-winged shit station Last Seen: Petoskey, MI Bee-otched For: begging for money --- Looks like northern Michigan's most-useless radio station wants you to keep their shit talk formatted station on the air.
WYPV 94.5 Mackinaw City/Petoskey, aka "The Patriot Voice" (and btw, that's their old logo), has a neat little feature on their website. The feature? DONATE!
Yep, looks like The Patriot is broke. Last time I heard them, they only had one real advertiser in a sea of pro-tea party bullshit such as vitamins and doomsday kits. What's funny, too is that they carry Glenn Back on a tape delay from noon-3pm, even though crosstown WJML carries him live 9a-noon.
In three years, WYPV has proven that tea party talk is a bad, bad idea. They were originally at 106.3, but swapped that frequency with 94.5 and 93.9 Mio. However, they sold 93.9 to a religious group, Strong Tower Radio. 93.9 and 94.5 have had a long history of constant format changes and ownership. Past formats included country, alternative (twice for 93.9), classic rock and hot AC.
Look at northern Michigan's talk stations. WTCM does excellent, but everybody else is at a 1 share or lower. WJML and WMKT's ratings have sucked forever, so why in the fucking hell did the morons who own WYPV start yet another teabagger station? The point is, AM or FM, the results are gonna suck.
I think WYPV's owners need to realize that putting a donate button on their website shows everybody that it's time to raise the red flag. It's a proven fact that any northern Michigan radio station that doesn't have a good signal into Traverse City will equal ratings disaster. The only way 94.5 will survive, IMO is if it simulcasted with a Traverse City station that doesn't have a good signal into the Straits.
IMO, the current formats on 92.3 and 99.3 in Benzie County are more entertaining than WYPV.
---
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Name: various Age: various Occupation: models, actresses, etc. Last Seen: various Bee-otched For: not knowing the rules of the web --- Ladies and gents, that pic of Kate Upton is probably the only real nude photo of her that can be legally shown on the web.
OK, so she's bare down there (I have seen the photos myself), but still, it's a sad shame when a hottie doesn't mind getting naked in front of photographers and body paint people, but when it comes to their fans, eh, fuck 'em.
A few weeks ago, a genius decided to post hundreds of nudes of famous celebs including Upton, Jennifer Lawrence, Kaley Cuoco and many others. Most of the celebs lawyered up and ordered the pics off the web. Apparently, most of the photos came from Apple's iCloud and the hacker got access to the photos thanks to a program that finds usernames and passwords.
True, as much as I love to see naked female celebs, I can feel their pain. Years ago, I posted something private and personal to MySpace about a loser who was harassing me on a message board. Somehow, this dickhead found out and sent me a ton of hate mail. The point is, a username and password isn't always the best lock and key to the most personal moments of your life.
So what should those celebs have done? Simple: DON'T STORE YOUR NUDE PHOTOS ON A 3RD PARTY SERVER! Either that, or DON'T POST NUDES AT ALL! DURH!
Other than that, thanks for making my penis happy. ---
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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.
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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!
Name: Eric Lynch Age: was 39 Occupation: ac-ac-actor Last Seen: Sacramento, California Awarded For: being a true wack packer --- Another member of Howard Stern's Wack Pack has gone off into the great beyond.
Eric Lynch, aka Eric the Midget or Eric the Actor passed away Sunday, according to manager Johnny Fratto. He was 39. Eric was well-known for his numerous calls to the show, where he begged Howard for everything. On several occasions, Stern told him that he wanted the 3-foot tall, 85-pound Lynch to have balloons tied to him to he could fly. The request was never fulfilled, but it created fodder for many parody songs, one was famously set to "Fly Me To The Moon".
Eric had dwarfism which resulted in him being confined to a wheelchair. His first call to the show was in 2002 to discuss American Idol where he revealed that he had a crush on singer Kelly Clarkson. He made one personal appearance on the show in 2008 where he was with two prostitutes, Diana DiGarmo and Natalie Maines. Thanks to the show, Lynch was an extra on many TV shows such as Fringe, American Dreams and In Plain Sight. However, those shows got canceled and some called Lynch a show killer.
Because of his poor health, Lynch was not expected to live very long, and outlived doctors' expectations. It should be revealed more today on what he died from and how he died.
Now, instead of balloons, Eric has angel wings. ---
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Name: WOOD-TV Age: 65 Occupation: NBC affiliate Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI Bee-otched For: overhyping the Devos clan --- Iiiiiiiiit's baaaaaaack....
Next Tuesday, Our beloved NBC-TV affiliate in Grand Rapids, WOOD-TV is going to abandon their studios on College Ave. for two weeks while they move into temporary digs at the Grand Rapids Art Museum for ArtPrize.
Every year, it seems that broadcasting from ArtPrize is a nightmare for Big WOOD with lots of audio and video glitches galore. This, of course is nothing more than a long-assed commercial for the event, the brainchild of the mega-wealthy Devos family.
Too many times, I want to throw my goddamned remote at my TV because while watching WOOD-TV, I see those annoying "Connecting With Community" ads that talks about how Amway has done so much good for the community, even though the company has donated lots to the Republicans and religious hate groups over the years.
And yet, they give out $500,000 to the best artist in town.
Folks, I find it appalling that it was *probably* the Devos family to helped fund Grand Rapids' unconstitutional strip club ban back in 2006 and yet, they allow a man with HIV to showcase three paintings made with his own semen to hang at a gay nightclub. What kind of message does that send? Boobs are bad, but jizz is OK? Most places that have semen sticking to the bathroom ceiling get shut down because it's a health code violation. But thanks to the Devoses, hey! That's OK!
I know that the Devoses give a lot back to the community, but remember, they're still Hollander Dutch Reformists. They're the type of people who protest against something, and yet they close the drapes and do the thing that they're fighting against. The fact that they use ArtPrize to make this city kiss their collective asses, well, makes me sick.
But in the age of attention, there's six words that turn any newscast into one of the greatest things ever seen in the history of television: fuck her right in the pussy.
Yep, it's becoming one of the most-used phrases on live television. And with WOOD-TV broadcasting with a Today Show-like setting for a few weeks, it's bound to happen, and should happen.
So, if you're reading this very article and are planning to go downtown for FartPrize, please, please, PLEASE scream "fuck her right in the pussy" when the camera's on you! You'll win a huge piece of my gratitude and maybe even get a special Hero of the Day. Please, for the sake of humanity!
Thank you. ---
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Name: Rush Limbaugh Age: 63 Occupation: morbidly obese fucktard Last Seen: West Palm Beach, FL Bee-otched For: thinking rape is cool --- It was fifteen years ago that this very website was born on a WebTV.
It was originally called "Bring Howard Stern to Northern Michigan Radio and TV", designed to smack down the local media for ignoring the King of All Media, but standing up for hate-filled dipshits like Dr. Laura and Rush Limbaugh.
Thankfully, Laura is now on satellite radio because of her personal banishment from terrestrial radio over using the n-word 15 times in two minutes on her show. But, El Rushbo is still alive and well and using his three daily hours to spread his lunacy. A few years ago, Fatboy decided to call a law student a slut for defending an Obamacare mandate forcing employers to pay for employees' contraceptives. The backlash against Rush was huge, causing major advertisers.
Now, he's at it again. On Monday's show, Rush was talking about the rape and assault problems plaguing the NFL and proclaimed that he's tired of the modern definition of "no means no". So, he made the proclamation that no means yes "if you know where to spot it".
This coming from a bloated Oxy addict who has been married four times and (THANKFULLY) doesn't have kids.
Now, many are calling Rush's affiliates to drop his show and for what's left of his advertisers to do the same. Sad, since when I lived up in northern Michigan those 15 years ago, two out of the five major broadcasters up north carried his show on two different stations. Howard Stern - who respects and loves women - is bad while Rush is good.
But, the good news is that Rush is pretty washed up. His new affiliates in New York and Los Angeles are tanking and many of his local affiliates are doing the same. His demo's getting older and it's a demo that's not good for advertisers. What's even more hilarious is that yesterday, his employer, Clear Channel, officially changed its name to iHeartMedia after its popular iHeartRadio app. Yep, the turd has been polished. New name, same debt-ridden company filled with stations with fake jocks, corporate playlists and people getting laid off all the time so they can pay Blimpo his millions. Thanks, but I already have three different music apps on my phone and they work all the same.
It's too bad Rush never served jail time for his drug problems. There, he would have learned the true meaning of "no means yes". ---
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Names: Heritage Broadcasting and Sinclair Broadcasting Ages: 32, 43 Occupation: broadcast companies Last Seen: Cadillac, MI, Hunt Valley, MD Bee-otched For: saying yes to religious hate and crap, but no to Jerry --- If you live in northern Michigan and watch TV in the daytime, the 10 a.m. hour is one giant, ugly cesspool.
7&4 is airing the Kathie Lee and Hoda Hour of Today, 29&8 is airing the new Meridith Viera Show while 9&10 is airing infomercials and Fox 32 is airing quite possibly the worst show on TV, The 700 Club.
Thank God I live here in Grand Rapids, where if I'm home at 10 a.m., my local CBS station, WWMT-3 is airing Let's Make a Deal, Fox 17 has Steve Wilkos and MyNetworkTV WXSP has Jerry Springer.
9&10 has LMAD at 3 p.m., Wilkos is on the cable-only CW 61 at 9 a.m., but sadly, I have to ask, "where's Jerry?"
Naturally, Jerry could air on 29&8 since they air Maury, which is syndicated by the same company. Last year, they aired The Test at the 10 a.m. slot, but that got the shaft after one season. Personally, 29&8 should have gone with the well-tested Jerry vs. Viera, whose show will end up being another Katie.
True, Jerry should air on Fox 32, but not as long as 9&10 is "owning" that station. Bear in mind that in 2007, Fox 32 was sold to Cadillac Telecasting, but is being run by 9&10. 32 was the original northern Michigan home for Maury (and even carried Jerry for a while after being canned by 7&4) but they demoted him to the 3 a.m. slot, possibly because of content or the fact that Heritage wants 32 to simply be a bottom-feeder for 9&10. Eventually, 29&8 picked up Maury.
However, Heritage has done a good job turning 32 into a station with mostly bad syndicated shows, religious nutjobs and lots of infomercials. As a matter of fact, Fox 32 AIRS EIGHT HOURS OF INFOMERCIALS AND RELIGIOUS PROGRAMMING DAILY. THAT'S A 1/3 OF THEIR BROADCAST DAY! Worse, some of their syndicated shows suck, such as the new The Real, which is nothing but a ripoff of The View. In the past, the station aired Anderson Cooper's failed show and (barfbag, please) Bethanny. Clearly, the idiots programming Fox 32 haven't got a clue.
True, northern Michigan does have two indies: WLLZ-12 (MyNetworkTV/RetroTV) and WMNN-26 (all news with some news-based shows). The people running WLLZ need to know that RetroTV's daytime offerings are TERRIBLE. As for 26, Do people really want to watch taped newscasts most of the time? Probably not.
Look, there's a reason why I'm pissed that the north doesn't get the Springer Show: True, it's mostly a smorgasbord of lesbians, strippers, white and ghetto trash beating up each other, but unlike Pat Robertson, Jerry Springer doesn't preach against gays and liberals, plus he doesn't beg poor people for money. Northern Michigan is one of only TWO markets The 700 Club has in the state of Michigan and the only market in the state where Springer doesn't air. It's on in Alpena and Marquette, but thanks to the limited TV choices brought on by 7&4 "owning" 29&8 and 9&10 "owning" Fox 32, it's slim pickens.
Thing is, Mario Iacobelli, 9&10/Fox 32's owner is 76 and, well, question is, when "that time" comes, what will happen to the joint agreement between the two stations. The FCC is clamping down on joint operating agreements, and in the case of several stations recently purchased by Gray Television in the upper midwest, Gray shut those stations down and is now airing their programming on their digital subchannels. For an example: in Grand Junction, CO, Gray operates ABC KJCT-8 and NBC KKCO-11. Gray purchased KJCT, but is now selling it to an Asian broadcast group because of the FCC's scrutiny towards virtual monopolies.
Personally, I would imagine that 9&10 would put Fox 32's programming exclusively onto their subchannels while 32 itself would be spun off. Question is, who would want it, and what type of programming would air on it? Of course, northern Michigan doesn't have affiliates for Antenna TV, Me-TV and the other .2s out there because the current .2s up north are re-transmissions of their virtual sisters, like 7&4 having 29&8 on their .2 and so on.
I'm happy that the FCC is clamping down on virtual monopolies, but it's too little too late for northern Michigan. Oh, well, at least some of Springer's shows are on YouTube. Maybe Pat Robertson will have a stroke on the air. Who knows?
All I know is that when there's a lack of choice, everybody loses. ---
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Name: Miley Cyrus Age: 21 Occupation: waste of human life Last Seen: Los Angeles Bee-otched For: ruining a classic --- When a lousy-ass pop musician re-does a classic rock song, to me, it's like somebody pooping on the Mona Lisa.
Last weekend, Miley Cyrus took her beloved wrecking ball to the 1968 Led Zeppelin classic "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You", which was released on a lo-fi format on Soundcloud.com (and no, we're not gonna link it because, well, Miley sucks).
Well, in all fairness, the tune is actually a 1950's folk ballad written by Anne Bredon and first recorded in 1962 by Joan Baez. However, Led Zeppelin rearranged the tune for their first self-titled album, released in 1969. As a matter of fact, they thought it was a traditional folk song until they realized in the 1980's that it was written by Bredon, and since then, Ms. Bredon - now 84 - has gotten substantial royalties from the LZ version of her tune.
Even though Led Zeppelin did not write 'Babe', their version is probably the best-known. But to have an overrated pop tart like Miley ruin the classic and have it sound like it was recorded on an old Apple II doesn't give it justice. All she's good for is getting naked in front of rich people and that's it. I remembered when Anne and Nancy Wilson covered "Stairway to Heaven" while the three surviving members were in attendance, one of the Led Zeppelin members started to cry.
Now, the tears are for what Miley has destroyed. ---
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Name: John Balyo Age: 35 Occupation: ex-morning host, WCSG 91.3 Last Seen: Battle Creek, MI Bee-otched For: being guilty--- Looks like a man who led thousands to Jesus as the morning man at Christian radio station WCSG in Grand Rapids could be spending a loooooong time in jail.
For months now, we've been following the saga of John Balyo, who went from popular radio jock to child molester. His arrest last Summer created shockwaves throughout west Michigan, an area that loves Christian music. Even worse, the charges were all regarding illicit affairs he had with 12-year-old boys.
On Tuesday, Balyo plead guilty to having a boy perform oral sex on him. Since Balyo's charges were in two counties, Kalamazoo and Calhoun, he could spend 15 years in jail in one county and 25 years in another, albeit concurrently.
The sentencing will be next month.
I've said this many times: the real losers here are the morons who listen to WCSG. Many of these people fought to yank Howard Stern off the air in Grand Rapids and many are also wanting strip clubs to close because of so-called sex trafficking. Yet, they donated their money to a local radio station whose morning personality had sex with young boys that was not non-consensual. I do wonder how those boys ended up as young prostitutes in the first place. Where were the parents?
Sorry, but this is why I have no love for organized religion. I don't want an asshole who has sex with kids telling me how to live my life. And now, Balyo might end up spending life in jail because of it.
Parents, if you're reading this, please give your children an extra hug tonight. As somebody who hopes to have one of his own someday, I hope that my kids will never have to go through what John Balyo's victims went through.
---
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Names: Rick Snyder and Terri Lynn Land Ages: both 56 Occupation: governor, ex-Secretary of State Last Seen: Lansing, Grand Rapids Bee-otched For: spreading shit--- Man, do the Repukes know how to produce lie after lie.
And not to forget, nightmares.
First off, Rick Snyder's latest campaign ad where his face takes up the screen with a two-lane highway as the backdrop. So far this campaign season, it has got to be the worst political ad I've seen on TV. It only shows how effin' weird the Nerd can be since I think he's trying to brainwash us. In the ad, he claims that we weren't changing. Really? In other words, going from a system that benefited workers to one that kissed the asses of the wealthy is good for Michigan. In terms of the economy recovering in Michigan, he claims, "you might not feel it yet". Sounds like the Turd is playing the Gil card (you know, the weird salesguy from The Simpsons who can't even sell an old, 1970's computer?).
The other campaign I'm looking at is the one that's sparring Terri Lynn Land vs. Gary Peters for Carl Levin's senate seat. Sadly, Ms. Land has a huge chip on her shoulder, and it's name is Koch.
In the ads that Peters' camp is blasting at Land, they talk about how the Koch brothers are dumping $6.5 million into her campaign. However, Land is claiming that Peters is in bed with another billionaire, Tom Steyer. But here's what Land doesn't tell you: yes, Steyer is wealthy, but 1) he's not as rich as the Koch Brothers ($1.6 billion vs. the Koch's combined $50 billion + fortune), 2) Steyer - unlike Charlie and David - has pledged to donate a good chunk of his fortune to charity and 3) Steyer is a leading environmentalist. Land's ads talk about her wanting to build the Keystone Pipeline but Steyer and Peters want to stop it. HELL YEAH I DON'T WANT IT! The fact that Land is in bed with the same pricks who dumped a big ass pile of pet coke in Detroit, polluting the air and water is enough proof that I sure as hell don't want Levin's seat to be taken by that Reformist Hollander bitch.
Oh, and some of the anti-Peters ads were funded by a little group called Crossroads GPS. Guess who started that little group? Karl Rove. Yep, one of Bush's butt buddies trying to get his hands back into politics.
It's time that Michigan makes sure that the Turd and the Dutch cunt stay the fucking hell out of here. Right now, Snyder is tied in a dead heat in the polls against Mark Shauer while Peters is kicking Land's ass. We need to make sure that all three houses and our local and state governments go blue this November or else the 1% wins.
And I'm not talking about Tom Steyer, either.
---
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Names: Ray Rice Age: 27 Occupation: unemployed NFL star Last Seen: Baltimore Bee-otched For: giving his wife the smackdown--- An old country singer, Ray Price had a hit in the 1970's called "For the Good Times" where he sings, "lay your head upon my pillow....."
But, when you drop the P, you get "smack yo' head on dis here handrail".
Now, the troubled NFL star has been fired by his team, the Baltimore Ravens and suspended indefinitely by the NFL for a fight that he had with his then-fiancee, Janay Palmer in which the running back punched her and slammed her head in an elevator earlier this year, knocking her unconscious. The NFL heard rumblings and accusations but didn't have proof that Rice beat his wife. The league now has a policy against wife-beaters, and it's a two-strike process: first strike, and you're banned for six games, and second strike is banned for life.
The sad thing is that Janay ended up marrying this fucktard. Personally, I think it's about the money: he had a $40 million contract. But now that he's been kicked out of the Ravens and possibly even the NFL, she might as well toss the ring at him and walk away. She should sue the living shit out of him and find somebody who will treat her like a lady.
People like Ray Rice need to remember something: they're supposed to be role models. Children look up to them hoping one day that they'll be the next Ray Rice. However, when they learn that their hero beats up an innocent woman, what kind of message does that spread? The lesson is that no wife-beater should EVER, EVER, EVER be a role model. PERIOD.
May Michael Vick's dogs tear him apart.
---
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Names: unknown Ages: mid-teens Occupations: students Last Seen: Bay Village, OH Bee-otched For: performing a horrifically gross stunt on a special needs student--- For many youngsters, the day after Labor Day is one to dread.
But it's like Christmas for bullies.
Last week, a chilling video made its way onto the internet of a young, 15-year-old autistic boy who had thought that he accepted the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. A group of teens he thought were friends coaxed him into the challenge at their school in Bay Village, OH. So, late at night, they had him over at somebody's house off school grounds. As he was accepting the challenge, a bucket of brown fluid was thrown on him. Turns out that the bucket was loaded with feces, spit, urine and cigarette butts. The whole thing was taken on the autistic teen's cell phone camera and the bullies decided to post it onto his Instagram account.
Ashamed about the incident, the autistic teen kept the video secret from his family, but his mother found the video anyway. His family took the problems to his school, Bay High School and the police. So far, no suspects have been named yet. Last Friday before the football game at Bay High, a vigil was held to honor those with ALS and autism.
But, the story gets better: actor/comedian/The Price is Right host Drew Carey has announced that he wants to donate $10,000 to a fund that will help find the bullies responsible for the crime. Carey is a native of Cleveland (and even more, former TPIR announcer Rich Fields is a native of Bay Village).
In a world of bad, there's a lot more good. I hope and pray that the assholes responsible for what happened to his poor, innocent teen get justice. They could have made him sick, or worse, killed him if the sewage they splattered on him was infected. Of course, Carrie got her revenge at the prom when pig's blood was poured on her, but at least she was able to wreak havoc on her bullies. This boy can't. In real life, the community must band together to get tough on people who use those with special needs for their feeble pranks.
Look, autistic people ARE NOT RETARDED. Many of them are high-functioning members of society and some are even quite successful, like actress Daryl Hannah, film director Stanley Kubrick, Jefferson Airplane/Starship singer Marty Balin and rock singer Courtney Love. True, there's many with autism who act funny to most people, but they have talents many do not have, like music, math and knowing things most people don't know about.
I think people - especially young teens - need to know what autism really is. The bullies who permanently hurt this innocent teen need to be thrown in jail.
According to the news report, semen was not in the bucket. Maybe when they're in jail and they *accidentally* drop the soap....
---
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