Monday, July 20, 2015

7.20.15 Bee-otch of the Day: LKQ

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Name: LKQ
Age: 17
Occupation: used auto parts seller
Last Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: being a poorly-run company

No, I didn't say "KLQ", I said "LKQ".

But something tells me that LKQ's management style is similar to that of Matt Hanlon's. (Say, I wonder how the sculpting business is doing?)

LKQ is a company that specializes in recycled auto parts. Their letters stand for "Like, Kind and Quality", three terms that sadly don't describe the company at all.

My first beef with LKQ occurred five years ago when I got into a car accident and my tow truck driver recommended LKQ since they do pay for junked cars. Well, I took it to their Wayland location (and for some idiotic reason, they advertise it as being in Grand Rapids on Division when it's near Wayland) and I told the guy who (barely) looked at my car that I wanted several hundred dollars for it. He gave me a whopping $200. I was ripped off. Big time.

Needless to say, I ended up buying a car that had a left tail light that was cracked. I was even pulled over because of it, so I've had red tape over it for years. To make matters worse, some years ago, my right hubcap popped off while I was making a turn onto Kalamazoo Ave. I thought that it was no big deal until I went to get my tires rotated in January and the mechanic told me that the bolts had rotted in part because I had no hubcap.

So last weekend, I had a chat with my dad about my car, and he recommended that I go to the junkyard to get it fixed. So, I figured that I would give LKQ another try, so I went to their website and looked at their locations in Grand Rapi- er, Wayland and Holland. The Wayland location didn't have anything, but the Holland one said that they had several cars similar to mine in inventory. I tried calling them first, but turns out that their number goes to their call center in Florida. So I said "fine" and made the 30 mile trek to that conservative hellhole. I told the guys there about my situation and I paid $2 to enter the yard. I looked around and found a few cars in similarity, but no hubcaps. So after walking around in the sweltering heat and humidity (it rained earlier), I walked back in and told them that I couldn't find a car similar, nor any hubcaps. The guy then said, "well, our database hasn't been updated in nine months". WTF?!?! I was pissed. The guy then said, "keep looking, you'll find something."

I walked again in the heat and humidity. Still nothing. So, I quit and went home. I wasted $5 in gas and $2 to enter their fucking junkyard and got nothing. So, I figured that I would call their Wayland location. I asked them if there were any cars similar to mine there, and the guy said "no". So, I decided to start asking him another question and he RUDELY hung up on me.

You know, this is why I fucking hate corporations. LKQ is one. They want poor saps like me to walk around on their broken glass-infested lots to get cheap-ass parts in heat to find nothing at all. No updating of their website to say what they have, rude staff and even worse, my car still looks ghetto with a bare wheel and a broken taillight. I've even tried CraigsList to see what happens. I hope there's a cheap way to make my 10-year-old car look somewhat new again.

I think LKQ really stands for "Losing Kash Quick". 

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