Tuesday, July 7, 2015

7.7.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Amazon.com

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



Name: Amazon.com
Age: 21
Occupation: internet retailer
Last Seen: Seattle, WA

Bee-otched For: trying to rip me off
OK, so I've been slacking off BOTD for a few weeks. Vacations and holidays do that.

But, like Roy Rogers and Aerosmith, I'm Back in the Saddle Again.

For my birthday, my mother gave me a $25 gift card for Amazon.com. Part of the reason why was because I had just gotten a new bed and I needed bed sheets. According to mom, Amazon usually has good deals on sheets, so we decided to shop together. We found a set of sheets for $37; with the $25 gift card, I only paid $12. Since I paid with a Amazon gift card, I ended up getting free shipping.

Anyway, I went to Detroit and Amazon gave me a letter stating that the sheets would arrive when I got back on Monday the 22nd. Well, I got back and there was no sheets. No letters on my door, nothing. Meanwhile, Amazon did give me a letter stating that the sheets had arrived, but they weren't there. I called my apartment's office and they had nothing for me. I called the no-name delivery company (Prestige) and they said that they should have it tomorrow. OK. No worries.

Towards the end of the next day, I STILL had no sheets. So, I called Prestige again and they told me that the package was mis-sorted and sent to Flint instead. So, they told me to call Amazon to re-order the sheets. They hooked me up, but there was a small problem: the operator at Amazon was somebody with a thick accent and was hard to understand. I told him my problem and he called Prestige and determined that they had to refund my lost package. They let me reorder the sheets and they also threw in free one-day shipping from a much-more reliable carrier, UPS. The next day, the package came and I now had fresh, new sheets for my bed.

But, there was a problem: the operator failed to tell me in plain English that my GIFT CARD would also be refunded, and I ended up paying for the sheets with my own money and not with the gift card Mom gave me. I was PISSED. So, I called Amazon to complain and thankfully, I was on the line with somebody who ACTUALLY spoke good English. I told him that because of the operator being so hard to understand, I was unable to use my gift card on the sheets. The operator told me that it's Amazon's policy to refund everything the way it was paid, which was why my money was refunded to my gift card. I told him that because of his mistake, that I might not be able to buy groceries that week. He responded that Amazon does sell groceries. I was somewhat relieved and the conversation was over. Well, that was until I found out that Amazon's grocery prices were a total joke: $26 for a box of TWO Hot Pockets, $18 for a 10 lb. sack of potatoes, $10 for a 12 pack of Vernor's... Um, yeah. Like I wanted to use my Mom's gift card on pizza snacks. So, once again, I called Amazon; this time, I gave the operator a one-star rating for his inability to speak good English. The operator I talked to agreed that he screwed up, so he gave me a $10 credit. So now, I had $35 to blow on Amazon.

But, the story doesn't end there. On that Friday when I was about ready to go to work, I walked out the door and there was a note that said that there was a package in the office for me. After work, I went there and yep! It was the lost package that was sent to Flint. So, I ended up with two sets of bedsheets for the price of one. Too bad that they were the same color.

Yes, I'm now happy with the two sets of bedsheets that I have, but I'm still pissed that Amazon and their farmed-out operator fucked me over. I was able to buy *some* groceries last week, though it was slim pickin's for me at the end of last week. Many that's why I like shopping local better. Amazon is nice if you don't live close to a mall and you don't mind waiting for days for something, but waiting two weeks for something as simple as bedsheets is just plain wrong. Paying $26 for Hot Pockets is downright stupid. But as long as founder/CEO Jeff Bezos is worth $35 billion, maybe he is doing something right.

It's just that hiring foreigners to do something that involves speaking good English will cost you a whole lotta money.

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