Wednesday, July 29, 2015

7.29.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Cumulus

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Name: Cumulus Media
Age: 18
Occupation: radio giant
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA
Bee-otched For: making bad, bad decisions

Twenty years ago, when I heard the words "we're going to Detroit", I was the happiest man on Earth.

Being a radio nut living in northern Michigan, I hated just about every station in town. I was a rock and alternative guy who didn't like the same dull oldies, country, CHR and classic rock heard on every station up north. I wanted variety. Detroit had 89X, WRIF, The Edge @ 105dot1, 97.1 K-Rock, Z-Rock and the station too cool for school, Planet 96.3.

The Planet played everything alternative from ABC to White Zombie. When it started, its playlist was very wide, loaded with the alt-rock hits of the day to the classics. The station even had some cool jocks: Vertical, Man at Large, Bo the Jammer and Allyson just to name a few.

Sadly, the ratings sucked, and in 1996, the station dropped most of their harder bands (i.e. Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Soundgarden, etc.) and went the wuss music route with the classics still sprinkled in. The ratings still sucked. They even tried all alt-classics. The ratings sucked even worse. So, ABC (the owners and not the aforementioned English group that gave us "The Look of Love") flipped it to *groan* hot AC as WDVD. Yes, the ratings rose, but seeing my beloved Planet die was, well, *sniff* heartbreaking.

Thankfully, many of the old Planet jocks stayed on board when The Planet morphed into WDVD, but Allyson was one of the holdovers. But sadly, despite her good ratings as morning co-host, Allyson was let go this past week. On Facebook, she proclaimed, “i just want to say how much i will truly miss talking to you every morning. it has been my pleasure and i thank you for all the support and friendship. i hope its not long before we talk again. BIG hugs and kisses from the bottom of my heart........:)”

With the cuts WDVD owner Cumulus and CBS Radio have been making these past few weeks, here's to hoping that Allyson will get back on her feet. Sadly, that's the business of radio. You can have good ratings and still get fired. But since we're talking about Cumulus, it's proof that they can tolerate bad ratings.

Case in point: their pathetic Nash format. In an interview with the New York Post, company head Lew Dickey announced that the country brand should be making a profit by next year. REALLY?!? They haven't made a dime in 2 1/2 years? Well, judging by their lame-o ratings, it doesn't shock me. Their Nash station in New York hasn't gone over a 2 share since it debuted. Hell, their Detroit stick is the third-lowest-rated music station in that city!

Cumulus sucks, plain and simple. In the early 2000s, they bought up stations carrying Howard Stern and dumped the show. They banned the Dixie Chicks over Natalie Maines' trashing of Bush. Now, they're a fucking trainwreck. With a stock price of $1.57 - down from over $5 a year ago - I wouldn't be coming to save their ass. If I did, Nash would flip to rock. Hell, I would put KLQ back on 94.5!

But for now, here's some White Zombie

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