Tuesday, October 27, 2015

10.27.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Opal Covey

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: Opal Covey
Age: 75
Occupation: ordained minister
Last Seen: Toledo, OH
Bee-otched For: being a weird-ass bitch

And I thought Grand Rapids was a town loaded with weirdos.

There is a mayoral election in Toledo, and one of the people running is a pure wackjob.

Her name is Opal Covey, an ordained minister who refers to herself as a "prophetess". She claims that if people don't vote for her this election, then God will come to the city and destroy it.

Wow! What a cute way to get votes! THREATEN PEOPLE!

She's run four times before and is running for a fifth. She claims that she could create more profit for Ohio's fourth-largest city by building amusement parks and even fixing the city's roads. But that's if they can accept her and Jesus, er, GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZUS to come into your souls. In an interview with WNWO NBC 24, she spoke in tongues and told the reporter that if not elected, the city will be destroyed. She also claims that she won the last election, but her votes were "stolen".

However, another video has surfaced of the Republican arguing with Fred LeFebvre, the morning host of local iHeartMedia talker WSPD. In the video, Fred calls Covey a "false prophet" while she uses The Bible to rebuke him. The video was made possible by The Young Turks, whose co-host John Iadarola refers to her as "making Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum seem reasonable by comparison". No shit.

The city's current mayor, Paula Hicks-Hudson (D) has held that title since earlier this year when former mayor D. Michael Collins died from a heart attack at age 70. She's the first black mayor in the city's history; the city itself is 65% white.

Now, I have family in Toledo, so yes, I've been there. One of the last times I visited the city, local CBS-TV station WTOL ran a campaign encouraging people to go to church. Personally, I found it weird, but then again, I have a cousin in Toledo who once was the operations manager for a Catholic church and he told me that it wasn't doing well at the time (and this was 2010). Thankfully, I just did a Google search, and the church is still there, but he's moved on. But sadly, it's people like Covey who make Christianity look more cornpone than an episode of Hee Haw.

Look, I'm a Christian myself. I know that I'm no better than most people. All Covey is doing is standing on her little pedestal and proclaiming that she's God's best friend, and speaking in tongues to prove it. I've been to a Pentecostal church that spoke in tongues and well, I did a Google search on that and lo-and-behold, I don't see it anymore. Maybe it's because the church itself was in a crappy portable classroom with few attendees in a small hick town in northern Michigan? Could be.

My advice to the citizens of Toledo: don't worry about voting for Opal Covey. At 75, her fat ass will drop dead sooner or later and then God will decide what to do.

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