Wednesday, December 23, 2015


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Since 1999, we've handed out the award for the year's most-stupid, pathetic human being we'd like to call a Bee-otch. Yeah, that word's a gangsta term for "bitch", but, well, we have attitude.

How we determine the Bee-otch of the Year is simple: I pick the Bee-otch of the Day, and post it on our Blogspot site for all posterity. The most-read Bee-otch of the Day article determines the Bee-otch of the Week. The most-read Bee-otch of the Week in that month becomes Bee-otch of the Month, and now, it's time to choose the Bee-otch of the Year.

The most-read single article of the year was for the now-Grand Rapids Mayor Rosalynn Bliss. But, she's not the Bee-otch of the Year because her article didn't have enough hits that week. However, since I guess people wanted to read my opinion on that twat for helping to pass the city's unconstitutional strip club ordinance of 2006, the article did go somewhat viral. So, Ms. Bliss has been spared the Bee-otch of the Year, at least for this year.

Now, here's the list of Bee-otches of the Month, ranking from least-popular to most-popular, who will end up being this year's (dis)honorable Bee-otch of the Year. This is a top 11, since there was a Bee-otch of the Month that was awarded twice.

11) October: WZZM-13 Grand Rapids
The ABC affiliate angered viewers when sports anchor Jamal Spencer announced to his viewers during a newscast from Michigan Stadium that that Wolverines had beaten the Spartans during the all-too-important inner-state rivalry. But, it was the other way around. Whoops. The only things WZZM should be proud of include: 1) the fact that they're less annoying than GR's OTHER ABC affiliate, WOTV 4 Yentas and 2) they're in 11th place in terms of being the Bee-otch of the Year.

10) June: Lebron JamesThe NBA superstar might be one of the best in basketball, but charging $200 for a pair of his shoes made by a multi-billion-dollar corporation that has no factories in America? Oh, and the dude just signed a lifetime contract with Nike. Psh.

9) March: The FCCIn the third month, the government organization slammed CBS station WDBJ in Roanoke, VA with a proposed $325,000 fine because they accidentally showed a woman throttling a man's cock during the station's 6pm newscast. It happened during a news story about a porn star who joined a fire department. They showed a picture from her website, but the people editing the story didn't see the offending ad that was on the edge of the screen. The station has appealed the ruling, but they also had another difficult matter later in the year when one of their reporters and a cameraman were shot during a live newscast by a disgruntled ex-reporter.

8) January: Tommy Brann
The outspoken owner of Brann's Steakhouse here in Grand Rapids gained tremendous controversy when he put up on his electronic letterboard outside his restaurant "Michael Moore and Seth Rogan (sic) are not allowed in my place". The reason behind the ban was because of the two's attacks on the controversial film "American Sniper", which depicts Jeremy Kyle as a war hero. On Twitter, Moore called snipers "cowards" while Rogen compared the movie to the fake Nazi film "Nation's Pride" from "Inglorious Basterds". I hope the dude got more health code violations this year.

7) May: ASUSEarlier this year, I decided that it was high time to buy a new laptop and I got an ASUS since it was a steal at ABC Warehouse for $500. Problem was, the power unit shorted out not once, but TWICE! I ended up having to ship it out to California both times to get it fixed. Good thing I kept my old laptop (the Toshiba that I'm typing this page with) since my ASUS not only had its fair share of problems, but also is a bitch to type on. Only a year and change until the warranty expires....

6) February: Trinity Broadcasting NetworkThe controversial religious broadcaster was slapped with a huge lawsuit by Brittany Koper, the granddaughter of their founders, Paul and Jan Crouch. She claimed that her uncle, Matthew Crouch was "tapping a gun" with her in the room, asking her what would happen if the truth came out regarding the network's troubles. Koper has claimed for years that the network had been hiding $100 million in assets, including houses for the Crouches, plus the fact that the network had been hiding the rape of her then-13-year-old sister many years ago. The lawsuits are ongoing.

5) September and November: "Huge" Bill SimonsonThe only person to be awarded BOTM TWICE, Huge does have the ego to boot. Apparently, the failing radio sports-talker has asked his co-workers to stop following parody sites like @notbillsimonson because they hurt his huge ego. But the good news is that we might not be hearing too much from him anymore because there's rumors swirling at WBBL's parent, Cumulus that Simonson is indeed on the chopping block. Since Cumulus is damn near a penny stock, it makes a lot of (ahem) cents. Then again, WBBL just lost the Tigers and Red Wings to iHeartMedia and ESPN 96.1, so they're as useless as tits on a bull.

4) July: CumulusIf there's any abhorrent radio group out there today, it's Cumulus. They think that country would work in New York City, so they created the Nash format, which, mind you, is tanking. Their news/talk stations are also failing as well, especially since recently, a small rock station from Kenosha, WI barely beat 50KW WLS in the ratings. The company keeps investing in lame talent such as Michael Grey and the aforementioned Huge, but in July, the company let go Allison Martinek from 96.3 WDVD in Detroit despite good ratings. Allison had been at 96.3 since 1995 when the station was alternative "Planet 96.3". Sadly, the station has since morphed into a bland soccer mom station and in recent times, the ratings have suffered. But since Cumulus is almost a penny stock these days, well, it's no wonder.

3) December: The Republican PartyFor years, the Repukes have been using their financial resources from the NRA to fight tough gun laws and it has showed. This year, we've had a young woman shot to death on TV, a group of African American churchgoers mauled down by a white supremacist, moviegoers in two different cinemas facing a gunman, people at a Planned Parenthood clinic shot over "dead baby parts" and so on. Of course, many of those gun nuts simply don't like having a liberal black man running our country. So, they vote for these right-winged nutjobs who'll do anything for the Second Amendment. Thanks to the GOP, 2016 could be as deadly - or worse - than 2015.

2) April: Brian Klawiter

Earlier this year, Indiana passed a law that allowed businesses to discriminate against homosexuals. So, Brian Klawiter, the owner of DieselTec, a Grandville, MI-based auto shop that specializes on diesel vehicles, announced that his shop would not service gay individuals' vehicles. He claimed that it violated his religious rights. Since making his hate-filled bullshit, Klawiter then organized a rally at a local high school that promoted his blatant idea of "family values", which met with protests, even from ultraconservative area churches. He's still in business, sadly, and even ran a promotion where you get a 20% discount if you brought in your gun. Thank God I don't own a monster truck.


Folks, I don't know why Obama got the Bee-otch of the Year. He wasn't even Bee-otch of the Day at all, EVER! He's helped the economy, helped to lower gas prices, created jobs and so on. I honestly can't fathom how...

...What's that? OK.

Folks, I have to apologize. I will take responsibility for this. I chose this guy to tell me the Bee-otch of the Year:
Ultimately, Mr. Harvey has been fired from and its subsidiaries. However, we gave him a free trip to a trusted optometrist.

And now, without further adieu...

The first time Cindy Gamrat entered the spotlight was in August when the then-state representative from Plainwell announced legislation that would defund Planned Parenthood after a heavily-edited video erupted on social media. However, just a few days later (and that's the article that got the two crowned Bee-otches of the Month), it was announced that the pro-life Republican had an affair with a fellow Republican state rep, Lapeer's Todd Courser. The two reps merged offices and used their employees to attempt to hide the affair by creating a chain e-mail claiming that Courser had sex with a male prostitute at a Lansing nightclub. However, after they were fired, the aides sued and the two state reps became accused of using public monies to support their tryst. As a result, Gamrat was expelled from the state house while Courser resigned. However, both ran again for their now-empty seats, but lost their primaries to huge margins.

The lesson we learned from Coursrat or Gamser if you prefer is that there's simply a lot of "family values" folks who end up lacking them. It's a shame, since Gamrat kisses her three kids with the same mouth that sucked on Courser's pee-pee. The only good out of all this is that her kids are homeschooled, so they won't get teased because mommy's a slut.

I hope we never get to hear from these Tea Party assholes ever again. They need to stay out of the spotlight where they don't belong.

Except, of course, when they're sitting on their thrones, wearing their new Bee-otch of the Year crowns. Congrats, you lovebirds, you!

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

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