Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.
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 Name: Sports Illustrated
Age: 58
Occupation: sports magazine
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: kissing Repuke ass
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You know when Spring is just around the corner when Sports Illustrated reveals the front cover for their yearly swimsuit issue.
Too bad the woman on the cover is part of a family that's known for destroying American jobs.
Meet 19 year old Kate Upton. She was born in St. Joseph in deep southwest Michigan but was raised in Florida. Her great grandfather founded a little company I think you might have heard of called Whirlpool. You know, the company that makes refrigerators and washers and dryers? Yep, that's the one.
Even though Whirlpool is still based in nearby Benton Harbor, the jobs are long gone. Over the years, Whirlpool moved their operations to other countries, such as Mexico. Today, Benton Harbor, population 10,000 is a town that's seen better days while its twin town, St. Joe - Kate's birthplace - is the home of slightly over 8,000 whiteys.
Of course, the twin towns saw some controversy last year when newly-elected governor pRick Snyder decided that one of his best ways to save this great state is to don some invading. One of his victims is none other than Benton Harbor. Last year, the state announced that they were basically letting go of the city's elected officials - mayor included - and replacing them with an emergency fund manager. So, the city is pretty much now under the former Gateway Computer CEO's aegis, and it ain't pretty. There was even word that they even wanted to eliminate a public park there and replace it with a country club.
Oh, and one of the people involved in the plan? Kate's uncle Fred, who is a congressman with a proud (R) after his name. Basically put, they want to replace all of the now-abandoned Whirlpool plants with parts of the club as well.
Simply put, there's a probable connection between SI (whose parent company is TimeWarner, who also owns CNN, Warner Bros., TBS and HBO to name a few) and the Upton clan, fast-tracking Kate to super-stardom. Bear in mind too that Kate was also their "Rookie of the Year" last year. Who knows? I think that Cindy Crawford mole's not the sole reason why she's on the cover for their swimsuit issue this year.
But also, I think there's another good reason for a woman with Republican connections gracing the SI swimsuit cover: to show the Religious Right that they're also on their side. For years, many religious groups like the Michigan-based American Decency Association have marred SI for basically trying to be like Playboy. After all, their body paint pictorials do technically show nudity (and all of their models are totally shaved as a requirement and to pervs like me, a plus). Since Kate's Uncle Fred is pro-life and anti-gay, that makes him on the same page as the religious wackos.
In the end, I think the fact that Kate's family has some scratch helped her easily land on the front cover on that magazine. While there's thousands of young models trying to find work and not getting it, Kate got it easily even though the families that once built Whirlpool washers can no longer afford them. I think SI should have thought things over before pasting a rich girl who never had to eat a ramen noodle in her life on their swimsuit edition cover. Thanks, but there's better girls to jerk off to on the web.
And yes, I painted fake pubes on her using MS Paint. How Perez Hilton of me.
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