Monday, November 10, 2014

11.10.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Parents Television Council

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Name: Parents Television Council
Age: 19
Occupation: right-winged hate group
Last Seen: Alexandria, VA and Los Angeles, CA
Bee-otched For: worrying about the Peanuts while the elephants walk by
On Devil's Night, millions of children were anything but traumatized.

No kids were screaming or scared because of a horrific and rancid image on their TV screen: Kerry Washington making out with two white dudes at different times.

On that day, ABC aired a telecast of You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown back-to-back with a sexy new episode of Scandal starring the Django Unchained actress. Just 26 seconds between a G-rated scene of Sally kicking a locker door, viewers were treated to a PG-13-rated sequence starting with Washington swimming in a pool. Then, she's thrown onto a bed by a white dude - probably naked - and the two start kissing. Then, the guy goes down on her (with no nudity being shown), and the two end up kissing again. Then - briefly - Washington is thrown around with her back in the air, implying the two doing it doggystyle. The scene ends with Washington fantasizing that she's having sex with two men at different times and it ends with her at the edge of the pool with some old black dude telling her to wake up.

And according to the Parents Television Council, 26 seconds between the end of a Peanuts special and an FCC-approved sex scene with a modern version of Seals and Crofts' "Summer Breeze" playing in the background shown at 9 p.m. on an over-the-air network like ABC is not OK.

PTC president Tim Winter said in a statement: “In less than 26 seconds we were taken from the ‘Peanuts’ pumpkin patch to a steamy ‘Scandal’ sex scene... Unless parents had the remote control in their hand, thumb on the button and aimed directly at the TV screen, they didn’t have a chance. Such a transition is grossly irresponsible by the network and entirely unfair for parents. ABC owes families an apology.”

You know, folks? This is why this country is ass backwards in terms of over-the-air TV. I was talking with my cousin's English girlfriend last year on this topic, and in her home country, full-frontal nudity is allowed after 9 p.m. Here in America, even though the FCC has no real laws banning nudity on TV, even basic cable networks are afraid just because assholes like the PTC and others would make it an issue. I'll betcha that if ABC showed some guy getting beheaded after the Charlie Brown special ended, nobody would even care.

Saturday night, NBC rebroadcasted a 1979 episode of Saturday Night Live starring Rick Nelson. One of the sketches showed Gilda Radner portraying Candy Slice, a drugged-up punk rock singer who sings a tune called "Gimme Mick" as part of a benefit fighting yeast infections. The lyrics of "Gimme Mick" go like this:

"Gimme Mick, gimme Mick 
Baby's hair, bulgin' eyes, lips so thick 
Are you woman, are you man 
I'm your biggest funked-up fan"
The song's full lyrics showed that that late comedienne said "funked" four times, but as far as I know, no TV station has ever been slammed with a notice of apparent liability from the FCC since it first aired 35 years ago. However, when the episode was repeated on E! over a decade ago, "funked" was indeed bleeped out.

And don't get started on Prince, either, wanting to funk so pretty you and me, Erotic City come alive.

So far, I haven't read about the PTC blasting NBC for airing Gilda *allegedly* screaming the F-word on a sketch that was probably repeated many times uncensored, but since it aired at c. 10:30 at night (9:30 Central), this might cause some issues.

But that's what the PTC is good for: promoting sex. People hate prudes, PTC included. So, what happens is that when the PTC trashes a TV show for being too sexy, people will watch. I'll admit, I never watch Scandal, and watching the scene, I was more offended by the lack of nudity (it wouldn't shock me if they were simply wearing underwear) than the fact that they were acting like they were having sex, even if it was simply simulated.

Oh, and here's some nudes of Ms. Washington. She needs to shave if that's not a merkin.

The PTC: telling you what's good for you, even if one of the members of their "Advisory Board" is none other than Billy Ray Cyrus. 'Nuff said.


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