Thursday, January 15, 2015

1.15.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Al-Qaeda

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: Al-Qaeda
Age: 27

Occupation: terrorist group
Last Seen: worldwide
Bee-otched For: showing how EXTREMELY unpopular they are
Last week, three members of Al-Qaeda popped themselves into the offices of satirical French newspaper Charlie Hebdo and killed several of the paper's artists and editors. Their reign of terror killed 12 people including several policemen with the paper's staff.

The incident resembles The Sorcerer's Apprentice, where Mickey Mouse breaks a broom only to have it turn into many mini-brooms. Well, Al-Qaeda did the world a favor and turned Charlie Hebdo, a paper I personally never heard of until last week into a worldwide phenomenon. The phrase "Je suis Charlie" has become a household term, even with American cartoon figures such as Maggie Simpson and even Baby Trixie from Hi and Lois.

Until last week, Charlie Hebdo only sold 60,000 copies a week. Now, it's selling three million this week with two million more in various languages, including English. Even though the paper lost some of its most-important artists and employees, they are now stronger than ever.

A few days ago, surviving cartoonist Renald Luzier (aka "Luz") showed off the first post-massacre issue of Charlie Hebdo, complete with a caption "All is Forgiven" and the prophet Mohammed holding a "Je suis Charlie" sign. Luzier drew some of the paper's most-controversial covers, seen here. It's amazing that he continues to still draw Mohammed despite the fact that several of his colleagues were gunned down over his art. But, he knows that the terrorists were once kids themselves but lost their humor as they got older.

You see, when somebody buys an issue of Charlie Hebdo, it's simply telling the same fuckers who flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon - taking nearly 3,000 souls with them - that terrorism doesn't win. If I see an issue on the newsstands here in Grand Rapids, damn right I will buy an issue. I want to show my country and the people of France that what Al-Qaeda did will not be tolerable. True, the paper slams most religions other than Islam, but that's their problem. Don't like it? Don't buy it.

But otherwise, I am Charlie, not a terrorist.  

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

No comments:

Post a Comment