Monday, January 26, 2015

1.26.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Walmart

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Name: Walmart
Age: 53
Occupation: soulless retailer
Last Seen: Bentonville, AR
Bee-otched For: ruining my cousin's sweet 13th

It was 13 years ago last week that my oldest paternal cousin, Nicole, gave birth to a baby girl named Ashlyn.

In those 13 years, Ashlyn has grown from a sweet little girl who would cuddle next to me when I would visit her and her family while watching her videos of The Wiggles to a mature young woman who gets As and Bs in her school. Not to mention that she's also on her middle school's volleyball team. She is very smart and attractive, just like her mother and her grandmother.

Sadly, I don't get to see Ashlyn, Nicole or the rest of their family very often anymore and it's because of the economic breakdown of the late 2000s. Nicole's husband decided to get back into the construction business and ended up moving the family coast to coast. Currently, they reside in Rock Springs, WY, pop. 23,000. The town is quite remote; it's the biggest town in a 150+ mile radius. Rock Springs is quite the small town; it does have a mall that only has 40 stores and a few grocers here and there. Oh, and there's a Walmart.

Even though Rock Springs does have some major chains such as Albertson's and Smith's (owned by Kroger), my cousin and her family shop at good 'ol Wally World. And when Ashlyn's sweet 13th was coming up, Nicole decided to grab a cake for her there. According to my aunt, the woman at the bakery counter was quite the butch and didn't smile the whole time she was decorating the cake. Nicole wanted a few things on Ashlyn's cake. But, here's the end result:

Yes, instead of an enthusiastic "ASHLYN IS 13!" She became yet another victim of Walmart's world-famous cake screw-ups. But, hey, that's what happens when you buy a cake from Walmart and expect their $8/hr. workers who are being forced to live off assistance to do a good job. According to Nicole, Ashlyn noticed the error, but Nicole herself didn't see it because there was a label on the top covering the cake. Twenty-four hours later, the top was lifted and there it was: "Ashlyn is 13th", not simply 13 with an exclamation point. She posted the embarrassing frosting failure on Instagram and wrote a note to Walmart talking about the error.

You know, this is why I don't shop Walmart. Their workers are grossly underpaid while the Waltons rake in billions. No wonder why the woman who frosted the cake didn't care. Hell, if I was still grossly underpaid at my job, I would make mistakes, too. It's Walmart's fault for underpaying their workers and it's Nicole's fault for not either not finding another baker in town or even baking a homemade cake herself (she is a housewife, after all).

Hopefully, Ashlyn will continue to do well in school so she won't end up bowing to the evil world of Walmart and their half-assery.


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