Wednesday, January 7, 2015

1.7.15 Bee-otches of the Day: the oil companies

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Name: the oil industry
Age: hundreds
Occupation: the people who give us gas
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: crying over lost profits

It's hard to believe that for the first time in years, gas prices are half of what they were years ago.

I remember driving up to Petoskey, MI in the Summertime several years ago when gas prices there were $4.29 per gallon. Looking back, I wondered why the hell I made that journey. But, maybe that's why I haven't personally driven back up north in a long, long time.

But now, gas prices are getting lower and lower again and consumers are rejoicing. Here in Grand Rapids, many stations rose back up to $2.09 per gallon on Monday, but that's after prices crashed down to as low as $1.70 at some spots. Some areas of Michigan are as low as $1.66, but gas stations are losing money at the pump in part because of competition. Right now, a barrel of oil is around $50 and it's getting even lower. Analysts claim that Saudi Arabia is to blame because they're producing oil at a rapid rate while other nations are doing the same. Here in America, it costs more to produce a barrel, and that's why some are doing their best Artie Lange impersonation: "WHAAAAAA!"

A few weeks ago, I saw a news story about a man who owns oil wells throughout Grand Rapids, and he was crying that he used to eat Filet Mignon every week, but now he can't because oil prices are so low. WHAAAAAA. Oh, and I love it how the media is crying that oil companies' stock prices are getting lower, hurting 401(K)s. WHAAAAAAA.

Look. I love only paying $20 to fill up my tank. I used to pay more than $40. I don't think most people will miss paying $4 per gallon while the oil companies lie out of their asses saying that it costs a lot of money to produce gas while they're making record profits. Bear in mind, too, that companies that buy ads during newscasts include oil companies, so sadly, it seems like they're the ones writing the goddamned stories themselves.

True, I have a 401(K), too, but I think of it this way: if there's oil companies in my portfolio, yeah, I might lose some bucks there, but other companies will benefit from the fact that lower gas prices equate to more profits for other companies. People can actually spend their money on other things! Imagine that!

But there's other factors, too, like people buying more fuel-efficient cars and driving less. I think the less demand fuel has, the lower the price. Hell, I hope this continues; I haven't seen 99-cent gas since Clinton was president!

That's it: I'm only voting Democrat from now on. #thanksobama 


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