Tuesday, January 27, 2015

1.27.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Tommy Brann


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Name: Tommy Brann
Age: 63
Occupation: restaurant owner
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: 
banning Hollywood heavyweights
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Sometimes, bad publicity can mean a free commercial.

Just ask Tommy Brann.

Brann is the owner of Brann's Steakhouse on Division Ave. in Grand Rapids. He and his family own eleven locations of Brann's, all in west Michigan.

Last weekend, the iconic restauranteur put up a message on the electronic sign outside his steakhouse on Division. The sign read "Michael Moore and Seth Rogan (sic) are not allowed in my place". This after the two made some tweets many felt bashed the hit movie "American Sniper". Moore wrote that his uncle was killed by a sniper in World War II and grew up knowing that snipers were cowards. In Seth's case, he compared 'Sniper' to "Nation's Pride", the fictitious Nazi sniper film in Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds". However, both Moore and Rogen claimed that they didn't bash "American Sniper" nor the man the film was based on, Chris Kyle.

Nonetheless, Brann - who ran for state senate last year on the GOP ticket but pulled out - will not allow the two in his restaurant. "For 43 years, I've been a small business owner because of the Chris Kyles of the world," Brann told WOOD-TV 8 news hottie Heather Walker. "That guy's an American hero".

Kyle was a Navy SEAL with 160 kills in his career, making him the deadliest sniper in American history. He died two years ago at a shooting range by a Marine with PTSD.

Brann even joked about Moore's weight, telling Walker that he doesn't care if he brings 40 people, he'll take the 38 but not Moore.

There's no word if Brann's 10 other locations have banned Moore or Rogan as well.

You know, Brann is a fucking asshole. This is a schmuck whose restaurant has had a long history of health code violations, serves up low-grade steaks and even worse, his restaurant is in a ghetto filled with rip-off used car dealers, pawn shops and buildings that look like they've been abandoned for 20 years or more. Do you think that either Moore or Rogen would ever drive all the way over there to enjoy a steak? I think not.

I have no plans on even seeing "American Sniper". Besides, do I want to spend $10 to see a movie directed by a man who looks and sounds like he has Oldtimers and talks to a chair? I think not. Want to see a good war movie? Check out "The Hurt Locker". It won the Best Picture Oscar in 2009 but few people have seen it.

What's more laughable is that Brann is a long-time sponsor of "Huge" Bill Simonson's shitty-assed sports radio show, heard locally on WBBL 107.3, where it's getting its ass kicked by Sean Baligan on ESPN 96.1 in the ratings. I find it funny that Brann's is supposed to have a sports atmosphere, but wastes its money on a fat blob who lost $500,000 in a slander lawsuit in Austin, got shitcanned in Tulsa for using racial slurs and is now here in Grand Rapids, telling people that it's time for this city to have a major sports franchise all because Green Bay - a town that has about 80,000 less people than Grand Rapids - has had one for nearly 100 years.

Judging by Splooge's piss-poor grammar on the web, he's not real smart with either sports nor computer dexterity.

You know, the food scene in Grand Rapids is very competitive. Anybody with the know-how can make a damn good steak. I sure as hell am not driving all the way to a ghetto to eat one. Thanks, but I don't want to be stabbed while walking into a Brann's when I can be nice and safe walking into a Qdoba (right now, a steakhouse is not in my budget). Plus, I'd rather have a meal seated near Michael and/or Seth over Bill Simonson and his lack of knowledge about just about anything. Why eat with a loser, when... Hey! If Seth is nice, we could light one up behind the restaurant!

Huge on the other hand likes a good pipe... You know, the one in Tommy Brann's pants.


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