Monday, May 11, 2015

5.11.15 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party

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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 161
Occupation: the right wing
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: becoming a cavalcade of clowns


If you missed the opening sketch of Saturday Night Live this past weekend, it summoned up this year's candidates so far to a tee.

Cecily Strong played a DJ to a Republican gathering showcasing the candidates and their plans to basically, well, fuck up the working class. Hey! At least one guy is 420 friendly, but he still ain't getting my vote.

That's all I've heard so far from the Repukes this year: "I'll get rid of Obamacare!" "I'll slash Social Security!" "I'll overturn Roe V. Wade!" The whole she-bang. Hell, it's sad when one of the candidates, Carly Fiona never held public office and was fired from Hewlett-Packard after she caused a mass exodus of 30,000 people. Kinda reminds me of a fellow who once ran Gateway Computers; he kept outsourcing workers overseas and eventually sold the company to Taiwanese-based Acer. Sadly, that asshole, Rick Snyder is now the governor of my home state of Michigan. Since taking over our state, he's downgraded us to a right-to-work (for less) state, he's slashed funding for schools and our roads are embarrassing. He even encouraged voters to pass Prop 1 last week that would have raised our sales tax to 7% and it was shot down four-to-one.

I know, the election is over a year away and not everybody has thrown their hats into the ring. Personally, I would vote for Bernie Sanders because he seems to be more down-to-earth than the rest of the candidates, even Hillary Clinton. True, I think Clinton will ultimately take the Democratic nomination for president, but my views on her are skewed because she tends to be a flip-flopper, especially regarding healthcare. True, Joe Biden is yet to announce his run for prez, but remember, the last time a veep held a successful two-year term as president was Harry Truman.

As long as the Repukes keep talking about screwing over the middle class and doing what's best for the 1%, they ain't getting my vote, period. The 2000s were supposed to be happy years for me when I was in my 20s, but realized that thanks to our weak economy, I had to borrow the American Dream instead of buying it. Thanks to Obama, our economy is up and so is my pay.

Like the old saying goes, "are you better off now than four years ago?" DAMN RIGHT I'M HAPPY!


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